Sweet Surrender
by moviebuff001
Summary: Complete! Sequel to An Ode to Maybe. Sandra and Alex meet again and find out more about Sandra's past and more about each other.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

Chapter 1

_            So I'm a little left of center _

_            I'm a little out of tune_

_            Some say I'm paranormal_

_            So I just bend their spoon_

-Michelle Branch- 'You Get Me'

            "Hey lady, can I get some more coffee here?"

            Sandra Ames groaned, she reminded herself that she had chosen to waitress, no one had forced her into it, _though_ her motives were allusive to her now.

            She plastered a smile on her face, chanting 'tips, tips,' in her head, as she poured the man's coffee. "Is that all for you sir?" 

            "Hey sweetheart, why don't you come have a drink with us, come sit over here," the man's friend asked, patting his lap. 

            Sandra took a deep breath and tried to quiet the urge to send _somethin_g flying into his lap.

            She smiled again and gave them the bill, although the clientele might not be all that good, they usually tipped pretty well. Plus the more they drank, the higher the tip got and this table had drank a lot.

            "Hard night?" One of the regulars asked her, as she passed by his booth.

            Sandra looked at her watch, it was almost two a.m. "John, you have no idea, but it's almost over. And what am I talking about," She shook her head as she slid into the booth, "You work in the ER, my job pales in comparison."

            He smiled at her, "Yes but I still have angry customers but unlike you, I don't get tips, unless you call vomit and blood tips."

            John was in his early forties but he hardly looked it with dirty blonde hair that was pushed back from his forehead, its length falling just above his ears. His blue eyes were surrounded by soft lines, not hardened wrinkles as most men.

When he wasn't doctoring the sick, he skied, played basketball, you name it, he did it. He was every mother's dream son-in-law but four years ago his wife had died of cancer and thus, he preferred the single life's solitude.

            "Well, I better get going. I'm going home and sleeping for a week." Sandra smiled as she got up, he was the only thing she looked forward to at work.

            "Night' Sandy."

            After finishing up at work, she quickly walked home. Even though it was the middle of June, Sandra learned that in Calgary, that could mean sun, rain or snow.

            She felt a sharp pain at the reason she had moved here, Alex Krycek. She thought of her life in two parts; life before Alex and life after. 

            In her life before she had no knowledge of any alien invasion, The Consortium or Resistance, or that she herself was part alien.

            Sandra had always been shy as a child, she never felt that she truly belonged. A feeling that had really never left her and now was validated. 

            Even though her parents had encouraged her to make friends with the other kids in her class, she was always too caught up in her own daydreaming. She dreamed of one day becoming a famous athlete, a writer, a movie star, of everything, And that one day her prince would come a take her away from all this boring everyday life.

            When she was in her teen's she had become even more isolated, choosing her studies, over parties and boyfriends. Not that she could even get involved with that kind of stuff. Her clothes were never in style, she never said the right thing and she never knew all the information on all the 'right' things.

Sandra felt a slight tug when the thought of her bed came to her. For her 16th birthday, her parents had given her a huge queen sized, four-poster bed. It was all in oak, with intricate carvings in the headboard. They had told her that they wanted to give her something that she could keep for life and eventually pass on to her children.

Her parents died in a car accident a week after.

Sandra wondered if they had known they were going to die. After all, it had turned out to be not so 'accidental'. 

It was murder.

Sandra kicked a nearby stone, in an effort to release her anger. She had, had to leave the bed when she and Ale...when _she had to run and go into hiding._

Sandra could see her house just in front and quickened her pace, for it was getting colder by the minute.

She stared intently at the house in front of her, she didn't know why she continued to pay rent there. It was unsafe for her to stay there, when Alex Krycek knew exactly where it was and could tell others. But then again, maybe that was the exact reason she stayed.

Sandra unlocked the door and turned off the alarm, only to set it again for the doors and windows. She quickly grabbed some crackers from the kitchen, deciding she needed sleep more than food but decided compromising was probably better. She went upstairs, into her room, ready to crash for the night.

When she turned on the light switch, the box of crackers came crashing to the floor.

In the middle of the room, stood her four-poster bed.

(A/N: Thanks for reading and if anybody knows a beta-reader, please send them to me, it's obvious that I need one!)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

Chapter 2

            Please 

_            You're killing me_

_            Please_

_            You're killing me _

_with__ all these questions_

                        -Chris Issak "Please"

Four weeks had passed after the appearance of the bed and still no sign of anyone, especially Alex Krycek.

The night of the appearance Sandra had searched all over the bed and then all over the house for any clues but there hadn't been anything. She hadn't even attempted to sleep that night, instead she had sat at the top of the stairs holding a gun Alex had given her.

Sandra had stayed a few nights in a hotel but since she was going to continue eating, she had to go back home. 

Anger welled up inside her as she started to walk, she had been so stupid with Alex Krycek. She had given him her whole heart but all he gave her was good-bye.

He had played her for the fool she was, he had told her he loved her but in the end, Alex Krycek loved no one but himself. Actually, that wasn't even true, he had no heart, just an animalistic need for survival. He didn't care who he stepped on, who he hurt, as long as he was the final survivor. The winner.

He had taken her away from her life, taken away any plans she had. He made her start over, without even asking her opinion. He had promised her a life and left her to live it by herself.

Sandra had been so naive to believe that she could change him, that she could save him from himself. What she should have been doing was saving herself from him. He was like a virus that seeped into her system, first deluding her into thinking he was good inside, that his intentions were just. Then he had aroused her curiosity and her body. That night they had sex was nothing but built up anger and fear. For him it was for power, he could have killed her at the climax, that would have been perfectly Krycek.

The last and final blow, was love, a manipulated, deceitful lie. He had ripped her heart out of her throat, while sipping on a beer. 

As if she was nothing.

As if she didn't matter.

She took a deep breath and slowly quelled her bitterness, instead she concentrated on the concrete moving beneath her feet.

Her speed fastened, she could feel someone behind her, though she couldn't see anyone. That was another 'perk' she had attained recently, an increase in sensitivity to everything. It had been slow developing, she'd only started noticing it recently...at another time like this.

She'd been walking home from work when she felt a somewhat familiar presence, though she couldn't see anyone. She had run home as fast as she could but since nothing happened, she summed it up to lack of sleep. But when she was asleep, she had such strange dreams, one of which was a man in her room.

In her dream, she had been sleeping when she felt someone touch her face, her eyes slowly opened to see a man, his face shadowed in the dark, bending over on her right side. He slowly lowered himself to the bed, his hand stroking her neck, while her hand graced over his face. His lips slowly descended on hers, kissing her so softly, she could barely feel it. 

Her other hand cupped the left side of his face, pulling him into a deeper kiss. He slowly moved on top of her, the kiss becoming more passionate and faster. His tongue dived into her mouth, as hers curled around it. 

She unbuttoned his shirt, as he suckled her neck and then pushed her shirt up to her neck and moved his mouth to her chest. Her hands ran across the muscles of his chest, wanting so badly to press her mouth against it.  

Sandra pushed the blankets that were between them, down and popped the button on his jeans. He leaned back to sit on her legs as he pulled down her pants, bringing her leg up to his lips, to pull the pants all the way down. He rubbed her knee against his cheek and licked the back of her knee.

Sandra closed her eyes, her senses truly heightened and she felt him hard between her legs. She moaned as he entered her, not wanting to open her eyes, afraid the dream would be over if she did. 

The next morning, she awoke feeling better than she had since before her mysterious bed had arrived. Thinking it was only a dream, she had gotten up but, to her surprise, she had found her pants sitting down at the bottom of the bed. And if she really strained, she could smell cologne.

Alex's cologne.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

Chapter 3

Monday was the day we met 

_Tuesday I was flying_

_...Wednesday she was far away_

_Friday caught me crying_

-Chris Isaak "Flying"

"Sandy, " Rick, the owner of the bar, called as she walked into the kitchen. "Do you think you can drop John Traven's order off at the hospital?"

Sandra nodded, they usually didn't do deliveries but John was one of the exceptions. "Sure," she truly didn't want to do it but it was a really slow night and she wasn't making very good tips.

When she got into the hospital, she kept her eyes down, she couldn't look around, seeing all the ill and dying people. Children, father's, young people, grandparents, it was too big a temptation. She had the power to help them, to heal them but at the same time...she couldn't.

She had gone down that road once before, it wasn't a path she'd take again.

It had been right after The Resistance and Consortium had caught up to her and Krycek and then let her go. She had been terrified to stay in the city, so she ran off to a tiny town in British Columbia, Montgomery Lake.

Thinking Alex was dead and fearing for her own mortality, she had hid in her hotel room for a week. She had been getting ready to get back into her bed, where she had spent most of her time, when she had heard screaming from the next hotel room.

A boy had been jumping up and down on his bed, unnoticed by his parents when he had tripped, hitting his head on the bedside table. When Sandra had went over to see what had happened, the boy was bleeding, unconscious on the floor.

Without thought Sandra had rushed over to him, placing her healing hands over his wound, stopping the bleeding and rousing him to consciousness.

Afterwards, she had been hounded by not only the boy's parents but the rest of the hotel, the town's doctor and soon most of the town.

Sandra couldn't have gotten out fast enough, people were throwing money at her, begging her to heal the sick and wounded. One man even had gone so far as to threaten her with a gun, in exchange for healing his wife's cancer.

She sympathized, she knew what it was like to lose someone close to you but she knew, it would never be possible for her to heal them all. And she wouldn't try to start, she had some kind of power but whether it was a gift or a curse, she wasn't sure of yet and she'd be damned if she used innocents as her guinea pigs, to find that out.

After talking herself out of the gun situation, she had tried to sneak out of the town but on the way to the bus station, she had been confronted with a literal town mob.

Before she what was happening, people were clawing at her, trying to touch her. She had tried to fight them off but it was useless. Just when she thought she was going to be overtaken, she felt strong arms encircle her and carry her off.

She had kept her eyes shut, afraid of what was going to be done with her but at the same time, she felt strangely safe in this presumable stranger's arms. But before she could look up to see who it was she felt a stabbing in her neck and then darkness.

When she woke, she was lying in her bed in the house in Calgary, alone.

And she knew exactly who had saved her.

Sandra pulled herself out of her reverie, to find she had stopped walking and was standing outside the door of someone's room.

She was tempted to look, tempted to see who they were and why they were in the hospital.

"Oh thank God, you brought food." John came up behind her, "Let me get my money."

Sandra was completely unaware of his presence and subsequent departure. As if she was thrust forwards, Sandra entered the room, her eyes trained on the floor. She silently prayed for the strength to walk away before it was too late.

Her eyes slowly went up the edge of the bed and before her eyes rose to the person's face, she knew who it was.

Sandra turned around to face the wall, shutting her eyes to the face the haunted her every thought and dominated her dreams.

Tears welled in her eyes as she turned to face Alex Krycek.

"Hey-" John stopped, finding Sandra in the room.

Her head snapped up, she quickly moved to close the door behind John.

"You need to get him out of here," Sandra whispered sharply.

"What?" John snatched up the chart. "This is a John Doe...do you know him?"

Sandra went to stand right in front of him, her face stern, "If you don't get him out of here, you are not only putting his life in danger...but mine as well." She knew she was asking a lot but her instinct for survival was overriding her morals.

John sighed, "No, I can't take him out of here. Let's just call the police and-"

"No." Her words her so strong that John stopped his future protest.

Sandra walked over to Alex's bedside. If she used her touch on him, he could pretty much walk out of there but that was bound to raise questions and that was the last thing she needed. And she definitely wasn't about to explain to John that she was half alien and how her touch could heal. 

"Listen to me," she said very slowly. "If you don't help me out then he's going to die because I am taking him out of here, with your help or not."

John thought for a few minutes, trying to think of a way to reason with her. "I can't just discharge a case like this, it'll bring up a red flag."

Sandra sighed, she knew what she was asking was something he couldn't provide but she didn't have a choice either.

"Alright," he finally said, "I'll go see what I can do but if I come back and you, him and that wheelchair," he pointed to the corner, "are missing, then that isn't my problem." He flicked a switch, turning off Alex's monitors.

Sandra worked fast, grabbing the wheelchair after John had disappeared around the corner. She struggled to put him into it, relying on all her extra-terrestrial strength, while also trying not to touch his wound. John was coming over to her house later, despite her protests, to examine Alex and if the gunshot wound was suddenly missing, there would be questions.

Once out of the hospital and into the car, Sandra carefully laid him into the back seat. She climbed into the back, closing the door behind her.

If she healed him now, he'd be fine in a couple of hours, maybe less. They could run to wherever they could, she could leave everything behind.

 But then he would leave her behind and she'd be in the same position. No, she wouldn't set herself up for that again, ever. Sandra would take him to her house and go from there, once John had examined him, she'd heal Alex and he could leave.

She tried to convince herself that she didn't care, he could leave and she'd be relieved but as she stared at his face, peacefully asleep she knew she was full of B.S.

Alex started moving, the medication wearing off, Sandra put her hands over his arms, stilling him.

"Sandra," Alex moaned, his eyes flickering beneath closed eyelids.

Sandra laid her forehead on his, "Why can't you just leave me alone?" She asked rhetorically.

"Sandra," he moaned again, still unconscious.

"Alex, stop moving or you'll hurt yourself."

"Love you," Alex all but whispered, his body stilling back to sleep.

A sob came from Sandra, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. She knew if he was awake, those words would have never left his mouth and that even if it was true, he was probably just delirious.

Sandra only managed to get Alex to the couch when they got to her house, she'd wait till John got to the house before moving him up the stairs. As she put the wheelchair away in the closet and absently wondered what the hospital would be more concerned about losing: a patient or the wheelchair.

The wheelchair most likely.

Sandra sat in a chair across from Alex, watching his sleeping form. She wasn't surprised that he was alive. At first, though, she had believed CSM had shot him, it was one of the reason's she had run to Montgomery Lake. But after being saved and returned to her house in Calgary, she knew he was still alive. She had even thought she could smell him on the pillow next to her, when she woke up.

As stupid as it sounded, she had felt his presence quite a lot over the past few months but she hadn't been sure whether it was actually him or just her imagination.

She slowly moved over to the couch, brushing her hand across his forehead. Even though they hadn't been together very long, she still felt extremely protective of him. Part of her thought he was an asshole, a manipulative, lying asshole but another part of her, the one that seemed to be winning at the moment, thought he was a lost soul. She knew his childhood had been bad, he'd had to grow up so quickly after his father's death and he'd cut himself off from the real world of emotions and feelings not long after that.

Her hand slowly moved down his face touching his cheek, his lips. She let her mind wander back to when she had spent that night with him. It hadn't been magical or romantic, it had been crazy and animalistic but it made her feel so alive and those feelings were flooding back now.

She lived her life in such a day to day way, nothing exciting crossing her path, nothing but the same old, same old. But when Alex was around, everything was dangerous and exciting and mysterious. She convinced herself that was the only reason her heart was beating just a bit faster now.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

_My mind's wandering_

_I savor the passion that your torture brings_

_My breath's quickening_

_Inhaling the perfume of my sweet sin_

                        -Bif Naked "Over You"

Chapter 4

            When the doorbell ran, it was only then that Sandra had realized that the house was completely dark. Without her notice, the sun had set and checking her watch, several hours had passed.

            "So I reported him missing but it's not going to the police, "John told her when she opened the door. "You're very lucky we are way too busy to care if a patient leaves," he was half-joking.

            "Well that's comforting," she said sarcastically, leading him into the living room where Alex was still lying.

            "He needs to be in a bed but let me check his stitches before we move him," Sandra could tell John was upset with her and she couldn't blame him.

            After John was finished examining Alex and had moved him upstairs, Sandra followed him to the door, "I think it would be best if you stayed away for awhile," She told him.

            "Sandra," he didn't even know where to start, he knew that something bad was going on with his friend but he didn't know how to fix it.

            "John, I know you want to help but the things I'm involved with…you just, you don't want to be apart of it." Sandra was suddenly aware that this person she had grown so close to over the last few months, she would probably never see again.

            John somehow sensed it too, "If there's anything I can do…" he left it open.

            Tears welled up in her eyes, it wasn't fair that everyone she got close she'd eventually end up leaving or they'd leave her and that was the way it would be for the rest of her life. "You've been a really good friend to me and I won't forget that." 

She remembered back to the first time she had met him, it had been just after she had gotten the job waitressing…

_"Excuse me, Miss?" Sandra had been sitting on the back steps of the restaurant, just after close, crying._

_She wiped her eyes, not wanting anyone to know what she had been doing, "Yes?"_

_"Are you alright?" The man sat down next to her._

_"Yeah, I'm fine," she chocked back a sob._

_"Work trouble?"_

_Well, work had been pretty shitty that night but that wasn't all of it. "How about overall life trouble."_

_John sighed, "Oh, that kind of trouble is not so easy to get over. At least with work trouble you can just quit or throw a plate of food at a customer but with life trouble it's not so easy."_

_"Plate of food?"___

_John laughed, "I think that's how your predecessor got rid of her job here."_

_That got a smile out of her, so he continued, "You just got to take it one day at a time, you start thinking about next year or next month or even tomorrow and you won't make it."_

_"You sound like someone who knows what its like." She looked at him, he was more insightful than she had thought when she'd seen him sitting at the bar earlier._

_"I know, all too well, unfortunately." He stood up, "I wish I could stay later but I'm off to work."_

_Sandra stood too, "That's okay, thanks for…you know…"_

_"No problem, I'll see you later."_

And he did, almost every single night he came to the bar to eat before or after his shift.

Sandra stared at John now, his past advice calming her again, "Take care of yourself," She hugged him and then watched him wave as he got into his car and left.

She slowly walked up the stairs, her mind set in a decision but setting her mind to doing something and the actual practice was two different things, making the stairs seem shorter than usual.

Alex would do a much better of hiding on his own, then she would trying to hide him. Plus, he obviously had come to the city for a reason and it was probably urgent.

Her hand cupped his cheek when she got to the bed, the drugs starting to wear off again. She moved slowly down his neck, opening his shirt. John had brought some clothes with him and Alex was now dressed in a fleece shirt and sweat pants.

Her hands skidded down the bare skin of his chest, slowly pulling back the shirt to reveal his wound. She carefully pulled off the bandaging and poised her hands above the gunshot wound in his right shoulder.

"What is that thing about setting something you love, free?" Her hands covered his wound, holding her hands there for probably longer than needed.

She was sure it wouldn't work instantly, so she laid down next to him on her bed. She made sure to lay on his right side, as it had not escaped her attention that his left arm had been cut off…again.

Without noticing, her heavy eyelids shut and she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies_

_So I don't know what's real and what's not_

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head_

_So I can't trust myself anymore_

            -Evanescence  "Going Under"

Chapter 5  

            Alex Krycek woke to a dull ache in his shoulder, reminding him of what had happened. He quickly opened his eyes, scanning the room, expecting a hospital, instead it looked like a bedroom. In his experience this could be a good thing or a bad thing: it was never good for him to be in a hospital, but nether was being in someone's house.

            He put his hand over where he remembered being shot but there was no bandaging, no hole, just plain, smooth skin. He sat up to take a better look when he saw her lying beside him.

            Alex stared at her sleeping form for a long time, hoping he wasn't seeing things. He touched her cheek with his hand, checking to see if she was really there. Her skin felt smooth and warm, as he was sure, the rest of her body did. Familiar shots ran through his body, coursing through his veins. His vision went hazy, his heart sped up and his stomach turned vivaciously. He had to tear his eyes away from her before he completely lost it.

            Alex manually slowed his breathing and turned his attention to the room around him. He recognized it as her bedroom in the house in Calgary. Slowly, he got off the bed and went down the stairs, the house was dark but he knew his way around. He'd been here more than he should have been and now was no exception.

            He downed a glass of water, then another, wishing for something with a little more bite. For the past six months, Alex had snuck in and out of the city, virtually undetected. He always came just to check on her, make sure that sure that she hadn't been exposed, thought that may have not been the only reason for his visits. 

            He missed her, he'd never admit that but the reason he came here to see her was just to _see her, even if he couldn't be with her. That hadn't been the reason the first time he came back here though, he had come back to see if she was alive._

            When he heard the gun shot in the other room, those six months ago, he could have cared less what CSM did to him. Let him take his arm, in fact, let him take all his limbs and then shoot him in the head. He'd finally found deliverance and someone he could trust and then it was all gone, all in the matter of half a second.

            When he'd heard a rumor of a girl healing a wounded boy in Canada, he had gotten up there as fast as he could. Had he gotten there any later he wasn't sure if he would have still found her alive.

            The memory of the crowd closing in on her was still fresh in his mind, people clawing at her, their faces carrying no human emotion. It was all about survival...something he knew only too well.

            Alex went back up to the room, standing at the foot of the bed, he stared at Sandra. _What the hell was he doing?_

            He needed to get as far away as he could, as fast as he could. Yeah, it would be nice to lie back down with her, wait for her to wake up and maybe even for a few hours just completely forget about the rest of world. But he couldn't do that to Sandra or to himself because he'd only have to leave later.

Just as Alex turned to leave, he saw Sandra move, causing him to freeze, something that rarely ever happened to him. Alex held his breath as her dark brown eyes slid open.

Sandra shot to sitting as soon as she saw him, fear mixed with expectancy covered her face.

"Hi," she managed to stutter.

"Hey," he said back.

His voice sent shutters down her spine but she wasn't sure that it was a bad thing.

"So," She stood up, holding her shaking hands behind her back. "How are you feeling?"

They were standing on opposite sides of the room but Alex made no movement forwards, "Isn't that the billion dollar question."

A long silence laid itself between them, both kept there eyes busy with studying every minuet detail of the room.

Sandra was the first to break the silence, "So do you need anything, like water or something?"

"Oh, no, thank you. Actually I should get going." He told her but made no attempt to move from his spot.

"Oh...okay," she tried her best to not look crushed.

"Okay...well, thanks for your help." Why wouldn't his legs move?

Sandra shifted her weight, "No problem."

Alex twitched his lips, it was hardly a smile but at least it was an attempt at one. "So you'll be okay and everything?"

_If you call being ditched and left alone to hide in a place where you hardly know anyone and pretty much weren't allowed to know anyone, then yes I'll be just peachy!_ Out loud she said, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Alex's legs moved forward without his instruction, "Sandra..." before he knew what he was doing his lips were on hers, his body melding with hers.

Sandra stood in shock for a few seconds, before her body reacted, flames licked her senses, all the air rushed out of her body. But before she knew it, Alex was gone. It happened so quickly that she wasn't even sure if it had been real.

The only thing real she knew at that moment was that she was alone again.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Sweet Surrender

Author: Carla

E-mail: moviebuff001@yahoo.com

Homepage: 

Rating: R for language, violence and sexuality

Summary: Alex Krycek and Sandra meet up again, learning more about each other and 

     especially Sandra's past.

Notes: This is part of the In a World called Catastrophe series, this is the 2nd one. Read An Ode 

to Maybe first.

Chapter 6 

            Sandra shifted sides for the billionth time that night but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep. Of course her day had been sort of strange and there were only about a million questions and problems running through her head but physically she was exhausted. She figured the physical exertion was from healing the gun shot wound, as she felt like someone had shot her.

            But in a way someone had.

            Once again, she had been ditched, granted it was a stupid misconception that she _had anything with Alex. She'd admit it, she had wished that after Alex had woken up, he would have stayed with her...for at least a couple of days._

            Sandra shifted again, she was being such a schoolgirl! The only reason she had such a crush, yes a crush, on Alex Krycek was the attraction to the dark mystery of him, she was sure that if he was a shoe salesmen or something, there'd be no appeal.

            Sure...and monkey's routinely flew out of her ass.

She was on the third repetition of 'King Henry the Eighth I am,' when Sandra felt something hit her face and heard glass shatter beside her. She turned to see her window smash as a black figure swing through it on a rope. In the brief time Sandra had, she assessed the intruder, by his built and height, she assumed it was a man. He was clothed all in back, including a black face mask and was holding a large machine gun.

Sandra got up as quickly as she could but she wasn't fast enough, she felt a bullet hit her shoulder, throwing her body across the bed. Her shoulder burned and her head was reeling in pain but she dove for cover before another one of the bullets flying through air, caught her. She hid best she could behind the bed, only a few feet backwards and she could get to the bathroom.

She grabbed the closest thing to her, a lamp, and heaved it at the attacking figure. Surprisingly, it knocked his gun away, giving Sandra enough time to run for the bathroom.

Only once she had closed and locked the door, did she realize this wasn't the best idea. Now she was stuck without even a window to jump from. She desperately scanned the room, her eyes falling on the shower head, it was an extremely ugly but with an extraordinarily long hose attached to the shower head. 

She turned the shower head's pressure to the highest setting and turned on the water almost as soon as the bathroom door blasted open. Bullet's shattered the mirror and punched holes in the walls as Sandra sprayed the intruder, hoping to at least distract him. She quickly, mostly without her conscious knowledge, kicked the gun from his hand and caught it before it fell to the ground. She knocked him in the head with the shower head and held the gun shakily on him.

The man stopped moving and stared at her, as if daring her to shoot him. Sandra hardly had anytime to think before she felt her arm slamming the gun across the man's head, rendering him unconscious.

Not wanting to take the chance that he'd wake up, Sandra ran to her closet and grabbed her emergency bag and ran out the front door.

She ran steadily for a good five blocks, weaving her way through alleys and streets before finding a pay phone. She dialed the number of a cab company, promising an extra fifty dollars if they got there in the next five minutes.

While she waited, she hid behind some shrubbery and took an inventory of her bag. Change of clothes, passport under Beth Cramore, a grand in cash, hair dye, a wig, make-up bag...and a gun.

Over the last few months, she had put a lot of work into this bag, hoping to never use it. Then again, this was certainty more fun than working as a waitress.

Almost forgetting about it, Sandra checked her shoulder, where the bullet had hit her. Sure enough, although a hole remained in her shirt and there was a bruise, the wound had closed. Lucky for her, the bullet had exited, otherwise she'd have a big problem explaining to customs why she was setting off the metal detector.

Once in the cab, her heart continued to pound heavily, she checked behind her to see if anyone had followed her. There was a black SUV about a block behind them but its speed wasn't increasing.

"Turn left," she ordered the driver.

"But the airport is the other way."

"Turn left," she growled.

The driver obeyed as Sandra kept her eyes glued to the SUV, it too turned, its speed suddenly increasing. Sandra couldn't see who was in the vehicle but she could tell there were two of them.

The SUV had almost caught up to them, "Speed up."

"Listen lady, if you're in some kind of trouble, I want no part of it."

Looking in the rearview mirror, he saw Sandra stuff a wad of cash at him and move towards the door. "Slow down, then get the hell out of here and _DO NOT CALL THE POLICE_."

The driver slowed and watched as she jumped out the car door, rolling towards the sidewalk. He shook his head and sped back up, promising himself that he'd take the job working at his father-in-law's car shop.

Sandra got up quickly, ignoring the pain in her arms and legs and dove behind a fence as bullets grazed past her head. The SUV sped past her, marking the fence with their bullets and then it pulled a U-turn. 

Sandra checked over her gun. Even if Alex Krycek was an asshole, he'd at least taught her how to work a gun. She took aim, hoping to take out a tire on the vehicle speeding towards her. The bullet missed completely, hitting the passenger side window and took out the man sitting there.

She stared in shock, she'd never killed anyone before, she'd never wanted to but they were trying to kill her. The car sped past her again and Sandra closed her eyes as she shot the gun, sending as many bullets at the driver as fast as she could. She didn't open her eyes until she heard a loud crash, the SUV had collided with a light pole.

Sandra put her back up against the fence, breathing as deeply as she could, to still the panic. She took another deep breath, she couldn't just sit there, she had to get a hold of herself.

And get back to New York.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

            Just before they died, Sandra's parents had opened a safety deposit box and instructed that only their lawyer have access. The only reason Sandra knew about it was because she had found the number and the bank name when she had sorted through their things after their death. The bank had turned her away, sending her to talk to her parent's lawyer but he'd told her that it wasn't necessary for her to know what was in the box at that time.

            "I need to talk to Mr. Horton please," Sandra asked the receptionist.

            "And you are?" She asked rudely.

            Sandra wondered if it was in the job description of a receptionist, or _office assistant_, or whatever they were called, to be a bitch. "Sandra Ames."

            The women straightened in her chair, "Just a moment please." Her tone was much sweeter and politely fake.

            Moments later she was in Paul Horton's office, while the bitch got her a water.

            Paul walked into the office, his hair was much thinner and much whiter than when she had last seen him, but his smile was just as warm and welcoming as always.

            "Sandra, my dear, how have you been?" He hugged her tightly, reminding her of a sort of bear hug.

            Sandra smiled brightly, feeling much better seeing a familiar face, "Good, thank you and yourself?"

            "Oh, the wife's got me on some low-cholesterol diet and doing Pilates with her on the weekends. Now isn't that a sight to see?" He joked.

            Sandra laughed, Paul had very much, a bear sized figure but he wasn't a gross weight, he just looked comfortable in his skin. But the sight of him doing Pilates on a Saturday did have her laughing.

            "But anyways, what can I do for you?" He leaned against the front of his desk.

            "I wanted to talk to you about my parents," he nodded his head, crossing over to his chair behind the desk. "Specifically, about their safety deposit box." Paul's smile was long gone and he was leaning intently on his desk, waiting for her to continue, "I know I was adopted." She paused for a few seconds, "When I tried to talk to you about this before you said it wasn't relevant. I'm pretty sure it is now."

"How much do you know…about yourself."

Sandra sighed sadly, "Six months ago I would have said everything, and now…I'm not sure of anything."

Paul took a deep breath, "The man that put you up for adoption was a friend of mine, he wanted the adoption done fast and quickly. Since his wife hadn't been pregnant, I thought you might be an illicit child and he wanted to get you out of the picture before his wife found out. But it didn't seem right, I knew he loved his wife and his family more than anything…when he was killed a few days after, I knew there was something else going on."  

Sandra finally spoke up, "He wasn't my father…he was a scientist."

"I never knew for sure but I knew he worked for the government, doing research or something, I figured there was a connection." He got up and grabbed his coat, "Let's go for a walk."


	8. Chapter 8

****NOTE**** For some reason I'm having some technical difficulties with transferring exactly want I want this chapter to look like onto the internet. The letter is within the ******, hopefully that will make this less confusing!

Chapter 8

            Paul took her over to the bank and took out the safety deposit box for her, he then turned to leave.

            "Don't you want to see what's in here?" Sandra asked.

            "Some things are better left unknown," Paul hugged her tightly, "Take care of yourself my dear and remember if you ever get into trouble, legally, you know who to call." He said with a smile and then left.

            Alone in the room, Sandra opened the box. A thick file folder lay at the top, she removed it, not ready to read anything yet. Underneath lay a velvet box, a keychain with three keys on it and around fifty thousand dollars in cash.

            Sandra picked up the money, staring in shock, if that wasn't enough to send her into convulsions, underneath was a piece of paper with a Swiss Bank account number.

            She knew her parents had done well for themselves but judging from this they were a gigantic leap from being just _well off._

            There was another file folder at the bottom, which she put with the rest of the contents and put it all in a bag the bank had given her.

            She caught a cab to the nearest hotel hoping she wouldn't be mugged on the way, what with the fifty thousand dollars she had but if she got in that situation, she'd just kick whosever ass mugged her.

            Once in the safety of her hotel room, she opened the smaller file folder. In it she found a letter written in her mother's handwriting. A message from the grave.

********************************* Dear Sandra,                                                                        I secretly hope that you never read this letter and I'm sorry that you have to. I want you to  know how much your father and I, love you. We hoped to protect you from all of this and that is the reason for all the lies. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive us. ********************************************** A steady stream of tears were pouring down her face, sobs threatened to take over but Sandra took a deep breath and forced herself to keep reading. ********************************************************************** Enclosed you should find a large file folder, with all the 

_information__ we could compile on you. You will also find_

_a__ part of your inheritance along with a number for a Swiss _

_bank__ account. There should be enough to keep you living _

_comfortably__, as we know your life will be far from simple, _

_but__ then is anyone's? Although money will not compensate_

_for__ everything, it may make things easier._

_There is also a velvet box, please do not open this, it is a _

_family__ heirloom and we want you to give it to the person_

_you__ fall in love with, which we know, with a heart like yours_

_will__ happen. _

_***********************************************_

            Sandra's thoughts strayed to Alex, she wondered what her parents would have thought of him.

****************************************************************************

_The keys are to a house in __Italy__ on the coast on __Capri__Island__, _

_we__ visited it while you were younger but you were probably_

_too__ young to remember it. The other is for an apartment here _

_in__New York__._

_Lastly, before you read the large file folder, we'd like you_

_to__ contact a man. We feel he deserves to know the information_

_as__ well. His address is on the back of this paper, ask him if his _

_father's__ name was Nicholas, then tell him you have information_

_about__ his father._

_We love you very much and we wish more than anything that we _

_could__ be there for you and to help you. We wish the greatest _

_happiness__ for you._

_                                      Love always, _

_                                                          Mom and Dad _

**********************************************************   

            Sandra re-read the letter over several times but instead of making her sad, it gave her some closure and made her feel not so alone.

            She was tempted to read the other folder, why should she have to show this to someone else? It was about her and who was to say she could trust this guy? Her parents did though and that was enough for her.

            She showered and dressed in a pair of black pants and a red blouse, she stuffed some of the contents of the bag in her purse and the rest she'd deal with downstairs.

            It wouldn't be so bad, plus, she could use the company.


	9. Chapter 9

You keep talking 

_where's__ it going_

_if__ there's an answer _

_I don't know it_

-Chris Issak "Please"

Chapter Nine

            "We've got a location on Sandra Ames."

            James Hayden looked up from his mound of paperwork. Even secret government officials had to do paperwork...and tons in his case.

            "Where?"

            The other man looked uncomfortable, "Well someone tried to kill her in Calgary, so she ran to New York and we-"

            "Someone tried to do what?" Hayden shot out of his chair, practically yelling.

            The other man gulped at air and ran a hand over the back of his neck where sweat had started to form. He was barely a year younger than Hayden but his reputation gave him much more intimidation. "Kill her, sir. I don't know yet who it was but I don't think it was us," he sputtered out.

            "You don't think?" Hayden walked slowly towards the man, as he scampered backwards. "Well that's good to know," he said sarcastically. "Because I'd hate to think that we'd be responsible for killing earth's only hope at survival!"

            The man stared at Hayden, expecting some kind of bodily harm to come to him.

            "You think she's here in New York?"

            The other man nodded, "She took out her parent's safety deposit box. Might I infer that she might visit Alex Krycek?"

            Hayden nodded, "I'll deal with that. Who else knows?" He grabbed his coat, heading for the door.

            "No one, I came to you first."

            "Keep it that way."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

            Sandra's hands shook as she walked down the hallway to the apartment of the mystery man. She was afraid for her life, for what she might find out and most importantly, she was afraid of her future.

            Whatever was in the folder was going to change her life even more. The way her parents had put it in the letter made it sound like this was the end of a normal life. No going to school and getting a job, no diner and drinks with friends on a Saturday night, no great romance, that could lead to marriage and maybe to children.

            She suddenly realized just how badly she wanted all of that. 

            She turned to go back to the elevator to leave when she remembered the man in the apartment, he, for some reason, deserved to know whatever information she had about his father. She may be able to hide from her future but this man couldn't hide from his past.

            She also knew that this man's father may have been the man that saved Sandra and put her up for adoption. What kind of life would she be living now, if he hadn't helped her?

            And if this man's father had died for it, for saving her, his son deserved to know what was in this file, normal life or not.

            When she reached his door she stood for several minutes staring at the door. Everything seemed strangely familiar and she wondered if she had ever been here before.

            She finally knocked and the door opened soon after.

            "Oh my God."  
  



	11. Chapter 11

There's a lot of pretty, pretty ones   
That want to get you high   
But all the pretty, pretty ones   
Will leave you low and blow your mind

          -Marilyn Manson "Dope Show"

Chapter Eleven

            "They missed the target," a deep voice said through the phone.

            "Which one?"

            "Both," the voice barely hid its fear.

            The recipient of the call scrunched a piece of paper and threw it against the wall. "Have you fixed it?"

            "Not yet sir, I'm on my way but I did get rid of the assassins."

            "Someone is bound to start digging and that Mr. Errey, would be a bad thing."

            It'll be done in the next forty-eight hours, I'll see to it myself." He tried to relay confidence through his voice but failed miserably.

            "You do that. And I hope you remember that I'm not a patient man."

            "I'll slit both their throats with my own kitchen knife, if that's what it takes."


	12. Chapter 12

And I don't understand  
By the touch of your hand  
I would be the one to fall

          Sarah McLachlan "Sweet Surrender"

Chapter Twelve

            "What the hell are you doing here?" Sandra blurted out.

            "I live here," Alex Krycek grabbed her arm, pulling her inside, then ducking his head back outside to see if anyone had seen her. "Did you follow me?" He asked her, annoyed.

            "Oh course not, I came to…oh my God." Sandra's knees buckled under her as she realized what was going on.

            Alex grabbed her before she fell to the ground and helped her to the couch. He recognized the look in her eyes as shock and she looked about to faint.

            "Sandra, look at me," he sat in front of her, his hands tilting her head towards his. "San, what's going on. Are you hurt?"

            Sandra tore her eyes away from the floor to look into his eyes, "What was your father's name?"

            "What?" 

            Sandra pulled the letter her mom had written her, out of her purse and pointed to the father's name.

            Alex looked at the name, studying it, "What the hell is this?" He demanded.

            Sandra regained her composure, standing up in front of him. "I don't know but we are supposed to read this folder," she pulled the thick folder out, "Together."

            Sandra sat back down on the couch, not caring if Alex followed her and opened the file. Inside were ten pages of photographs of ultrasounds of a baby…of her. Below each photograph was a date but instead of being a normal full-term nine months, the pictures were only five months until full development.

            "Wow, you were in a hurry to get out."

            "Do you think it's possible that..." Sandra paused for a few seconds, "That there was a surrogate mother?"

            Alex studied her for a second, sometimes she seemed so young and innocent to him, "From what I know about this program, they used unwilling women, who thought they were being abducted by aliens, to birth the babies."

            Sandra considered for a moment, "Then I have a mother." She got up and started pacing across the living room.

            Alex picked up the file, after the pictures were medical papers, mostly technical terms that Alex didn't understand but he found the line he was hoping not to find. 

            Surrogate mother died in childbirth.

            Alex stood and walked over to where Sandra had stopped in front of the window. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around her but instead he opted for laying his hand gently on the back of her arm.

            "She died didn't she?"

            Ignoring his own good sense, Alex pulled her into his arms, letting her face fall into his shoulder. He quickly scanned the document, looking for some glimmer of hope for her but instead he found something else. A signature at the bottom, of Nicholas Krycek.

            Sandra felt him tense around her and she looked up to see his eyes cloud over and she knew that she was the reason for the death of his father.

            Alex moved quickly away and sat heavily down on a chair, his eyes never leaving the signature on the document. Sandra stood where she was and watched him, like a mouse watching a snake, waiting for an attack.

            She watched as tears slowly ran down his cheeks but no emotion crossed his face. Her instinct ruled over rationality and she crossed to him, kneeling at his feet. She brought her hand up to touch his hand, feeling him flinch at the touch.

            Alex tore his eyes away from the paper in his hand to her look into her eyes. As he put the paper down Sandra moved her hands to frame his face. Without warning Alex's lips came crashing down on hers, his body moving to her as he laid her down on the hardwood floor.

            It all seemed somewhat familiar but there was a distinct different then the last time. Something...more.

            Sandra's hands ran over his neck and down his back as the kiss magnified. They rolled so Sandra was on top, his lips moving to her neck, scraping his teeth lightly across her skin, enticing a shiver and a sigh.

            His hands were all over her, pushing her against him, he couldn't get enough of her, he wanted her. He wanted to be a part of her, for her to be a part of him, for something to ease the pain in his body that had been there since his father's death. He wanted to get lost in her, in an attempt to find himself. She made him feel real, not some cardboard cutout that moved from point A to B only out of necessity.

            "God Sandra," he breathed into her neck.

            Sandra was feeling so light-headed she was afraid she might faint. Every sense was heightened but above any physical sensation, the sensations she was feeling in her heart were raging. Even as she berated herself for it, she couldn't deny that her feelings for Alex weren't purely sexual.

            That's why she pulled away.

            "So I see you have full use of your arm again," she touched his left arm.

            Alex, who was still dazed from the kiss, just stared blankly at her for a few seconds. "Oh...yeah." His eyes smiled up at her sarcastically, "I wonder how that is?"

            It's was Sandra's turn to stare blankly, "But I never..." She thought for a few seconds, "Oh, I guess I probably shouldn't have been the one to move you around when you were unconscious." She'd been so intent on not touching his gun shot wound, she hadn't paid any attention to the spot where his arm had once been attached.

            "I don't mind." Realizing they were still lying on the floor and that his ass was about to fall asleep, he said, "You know as comfortable as the floor is, I'm sure we can find a much more comfortable spot."

            Sandra shifted off him, afraid he'd lead her into the bedroom but he only moved to the couch. She followed but kept a few inches apart from him, an awkwardness settled into the room, sitting right smack in the middle of Alex and Sandra.

            Sandra turned to look at him but her eyes only met his knees, "Are you okay?" She asked, referring to his father.

            Alex was silent for a few moments, "Yeah. It's just sort of strange, you know? The girl I'm hired to kidnap, happened to be my father's science project."

            "I don't think it was a coincidence."

            "Me neither."


	13. Chapter 13

It's only natural  
The moon is just half full  
We give our best away  
We give our best away

          -Weezer "December"

 Chapter Thirteen

            Hayden tapped his finger rhythmically on his desk, which was kept meticulously cleaner than his one at the office. As a rule he never kept important or confidential information at his office at home, he couldn't risk it, for many reasons. But there were some things he couldn't even trust to be kept at the other office. Alex Krycek's address was one of them.

            He was the only one in the world that knew where Krycek kept his secret apartment, not even Krycek's mentor and enemy CSM, knew where he lived. The knowledge of this was a great feeling to Hayden. It wasn't that it fed his ego or his need for power, it wasn't even that he hated Alex Krycek and loved having something on him. In fact since their first encounter months ago, Hayden had actually formed a solid respect for him.

            It was the fact that he was that much closer to Sandra Ames. 

            He'd been stupid before, letting her go. He'd let the fact that they were both around the same age, get to him and he'd been sympathetic. What wouldn't he do to have this time to enjoy life and his youth? Unfortunately, like him, she was not in a position to have that luxury. She was the only hope for earth and they couldn't waste time now.

            Hayden put the address in his pocket, locking the door of his office as he walked into the kitchen. His home, a three bedroom condo, with high ceilings and large bay windows that looked out onto the landscape of New York, was stylishly and modernly furnished. He'd hired one of the cities top decorators, as he didn't have the time or interest to decorate the condo himself. He was pleasantly surprised with the result, with grey leather couches and chairs adorning the main room and all the tables and Armoire done in ash blonde.

            Many twenty-five year olds couldn't afford such luxury unless they had large trust funds. But most twenty-five year olds fathers weren't past members of the Consortium and a co-founder of the Resistance. Hell, most didn't even know what the Resistance and Consortium were.

            Hayden was brought out of his revere by a crying noise coming from another room. Hayden put down his glass of water he'd been drinking and followed the noise upstairs, there he found a baby swinging his arms about and screaming at the top of his lungs.

            Hayden lifted the baby up into his arms, rocking softly back and forth, "Hey buddy, I thought you were going to sleep for a little while longer," Hayden stared down at the three month old face. "You're a sweet boy, you know that?" The baby stopped crying and let out a tiny giggle. Hayden laughed, "Oh you do know that, do you? Well then, let's go get you some food before your daddy has to go back to work."


	14. Chapter 14

You only see what your eyes want to see  
How can life be what you want it to be  
You're frozen  
When your heart's not open

          -Madonna "Frozen"

Chapter Fourteen

            Sandra slowly wondered through Alex's apartment, running her finger over everything, as if seeking a connection through the inanimate objects to their owner. 

            She'd been in it once before but she hadn't had much time for the details. It was pretty clean for a guy's apartment, with only a few magazines and DVD cases cluttering the coffee table. A guitar magazine and yesterday's paper, lay spread open and Sandra wondered if Alex played guitar. 

            She leafed through his CD collection, finding mostly jazz and blues but there were albums that ranged from Shania Twain to The Beatles to Marilyn Manson.

            She took out The Matthew Good Band CD and put it into the CD player.

            "You know who this is?" Alex asked from the kitchen, surprised.

            "Yeah," she went over to the kitchen to join him. "I'd never heard them until I was in Canada. They're really popular up there."

            "I just got this CD when I was in Calgary."

            "Oh so that's why you were up there," Sandra joked.

            "Hey, it's damn good music." 

            They lapsed into silence as Sandra watched Alex cook. He was standing over the stove, spoon in hand, staring into the depths of whatever he was making. But whatever it was, it smelled good.

            "Where'd you learn to cook?"

            Alex wiped his hands on a dishrag and walked around the counter to where she was sitting. "My grandmother, on my mom's side, was so excited to have a grandchild to pass on the family cooking secrets, that she started teaching me when I was barely able to walk."

            Sandra had a mental picture of baby Alex, stomping around in an apron, carrying a mixing spoon.

            "So by the time I was five," he continued. "I could cook an entire meal by myself…in theory though because my mom wouldn't let near the stove and the knives."

            Sandra laughed, "That's better than most girls. My own cooking talents are restricted to vegetable soup and Kraft Dinner."

            Alex walked back to the stove, motioning for her to follow. "This is a spoon." Sandra glared at him. "Stir this until it boils and then add a pinch of this, " he pointed to a bottle.

            "Wait a minute, how much is a 'pinch'? Because I'm sure your 'pinch' and my 'pinch' are a lot different."

            Alex was overcome by how comfortable this all felt and indulging in the domestic aura, he gave her a peck on the cheek. "It's just a pinch, don't worry." Alex took her seat at the counter.

            "Alright. But I have to warn you, I have a tendency to burn dinner."

            Alex felt his beeper go off, "It's soup. You can't burn it." The number displayed on his beeper was one that he wished he could ignore. "I have to make a call, I'll be right back."

            Alex walked into the room, punching the California number and made sure to close the door. "Hey Ana, you called?"

            Back in the kitchen, Sandra heard him. She didn't mean to be eavesdropping but her heightened senses included better hearing and she just wanted to check that he wasn't turning her in. Yeah, she had trust issues but this was her life, wasn't that warrant enough. As she listened in, she realized it was a personal call and tuned it out. Of course he would have a girl-friend, she couldn't actually expect that he was in love with Sandra or anything. 

            She had turned her attention fully back to the soup, when Alex came back into the room. She'd finish up eating supper with him and then leave as quickly as possible. She'd photocopy the file folder for him but she wouldn't see him again after that. She was stupid to think she could depend on him, she was just intruding on his life. What would his girl-friend say if she walked in right now? She wouldn't be able to explain that she and Alex were just going over some confidential files, pertaining to her being an alien. Yeah, that'd go smoothly. 

            As Alex walked back into the room, he noticed the change in Sandra immediately. He was sure that she thought he'd called to turn her in. How she could possibly believe that was beyond him. It hurt too, strangely, that she didn't trust him but then again what had he done that inspired trust?

            He watched from his bedroom door, as she stirred dinner, humming softly to the music. Her hair had grown longer and was straight, it lacked the bounce and curl from when he had first met her. She was a lot thinner as well. He figured she must have lost ten or fifteen pounds, not a healthy weight for her height. But then again, she didn't look all that healthy; dark shadows bruised her eyes and her skin was pale.

            It was obvious that these last few months had been hard on her and he felt a stab of guilt over it. She'd suffered the worst, most unimaginable blow to her world and she'd had to deal with it all by herself. Alex reminded himself that he had left her alone for her own good and safety and that's what he should be doing right now.

            "How's it going?" Sandra noticed the distinct change in his tone.

            "Well, there haven't been any fires, so I think we're doing well."

             Alex finished the dinner, making idle chit-chat and then they ate supper in a heavy silence that suffocated the room.

            Sandra finally broke the silence when she had finished eating, "Thanks for dinner," her voice was quiet and polite.

            Alex forced a smile on his face, "You helped too," he reminded her.

            "Yeah, I'm the new Martha Stewart." 

            Sandra wasn't absolutely sure why he had changed so drastically from an hour ago but she suspected that he felt guilty for having her in his apartment. Or maybe he was resentful towards her for not only barging into his life but for also being the reason that his father had been murdered. How could he even be in the same room with her? She knew she hadn't been the one to actually pull the trigger but if she had never been born, then Alex wouldn't have been robbed of a father or of his innocence. 

            In fact, if she hadn't been born her parents would be alive, living a normal life, devoid of dangerous secrets.

            She stood up to leave, she couldn't bare to be reminded anymore of how much blood she had on her hands. Intentionally or not. 

            Sandra would stay away from Alex and by doing that, protect him. She would go live in the apartment that her parents had set up for her until she could get out of the country to Europe. 

            Alex could sense Sandra's distress and assumed that she wanted to get away from him, the man who had dumped her alone in a foreign country. He felt a hitch in his stomach, he was doing it again, here she was, with all this new information and he was about to let her walk out of here to deal with it all alone. If she stayed with him though, she was bound to get into more trouble than if on her own. But then again, she really didn't know how to protect herself from the people that were hunting her, the people that he'd made a living off hiding from.

            He still hadn't made up his mind what he was going to when he heard her say, "Well…I should get going."

            Alex stood, "Yeah," was all he could think to say. Without thought he handed her the file folder she had brought with her. "You know…I think it would be better if-." He was interrupted by the front door exploding open.

            Alex barely had time to grab his gun and Sandra before four men came into the room, their guns shooting at everything in sight. He pulled Sandra into the bedroom, closing and locking the door, as much good as that would do. He climbed up on the bed, lifting a painting off the wall to reveal a switch. When he flicked the switch, the nightstand beside the bed swung open, to show a small metal door.

            Alex opened the door with a key and practically threw Sandra into the crawl space before crawling in after her and slammed the door shut, effectively locking it.

            The crawl space, which was only a few feet high and wide, was so dark that Sandra wasn't sure whether her eyes were open or closed. She could feel Alex behind, gently pushing her gently into the darkness. After a few feet Alex told her to stop and she heard him open and close something before she was blinded by a bright light coming from his hands.

            The flashlight centered in on another door on the wall of the space but the door was too small to crawl through. Alex punched in a code on the pin pad next to door, causing the door to creak open. Alex grabbed a back pack from within the safe and shut the door again. He moved in front of her to lead her to another door.

            "Oh for the love of God. This place has more doors than…well, a place that has a lot of doors." Sandra said, wondering if a bullet hadn't hit her in the head and she just hadn't noticed.

            Alex turned to face her, "What the hell is going on? Did you get those people to come here?"

            Sandra stared at him, "Yes I phoned them to come shoot at me, so I'd have an excuse to crawl into a dark hole," She said sarcastically. "Maybe _Ana_ knows something about this." 

            "Excuse me, how do you know Ana?"

            _Opps, Sandra felt around her head, doubling checking to make sure her brain wasn't oozing out the back of her head. "Um, well…I have a right to know when I'm being backstabbed!"_

            Alex stared at her if she was crazy, "What the hell does she have to do with this?"

            "So she's just your girlfriend not a super-spy for the government."

            Alex chuckled, "You think Ana is my girl-friend? She's my sister, you fucking psycho and for your information, she's a teacher."

            Yeah, she definitely needed a brain transplant, "Oh."

            Alex let out a kind of huff before opening the door. When Sandra looked through the door, she saw that the floor dropped out and was left with a steel staircase instead. 

            "I guess this is a bad time to tell you I'm afraid of heights."


	15. Chapter 15

[A/N: I have decided to start adding the date/place etc. to the beginning of the story so it's less confusing. The chapters before are all in the same timeline, they just aren't labelled]

Make a promise, cross your heart.  
Kings vow that we'll never part.  
Sign in blood and hope to die.  
Little black flowers grow, in the sky.

          -Chris Issack "Black Flowers"

Chapter Fifteen

New York City

            July 16, 1999

            6:38 PM

            Hayden walked down the hall of the apartment building, taking his time as he took in the surrounding environment. It was an expensive but not flashy apartment building, with only a man sitting at the front desk at the entrance, who Hayden had simply walked past without receiving a second glance.

            He was positive that Ames and Krycek wouldn't come with him willingly but he hoped he'd have to use as little force as possible, as he didn't want to alert any suspicion. 

            When he reached the top of the stairs, he never liked taking elevators, he saw that something was definitely wrong. Four men, dressed all in black were charging towards the stairs, towards him. There was no hiding the massive guns they held in their gigantic arms and the smell in the air definitely proved that they had been fired recently.

            Hayden barely got out of the way, as they charged down the stairs. He ran quickly to Alex Krycek's apartment, only to find his fear, true. It had been his apartment those men had pummeled with bullets. Hayden rushed over the scene, not finding the two, he realized why the men where rushed out of there so fast. Krycek had escaped.

            Hayden flipped open his cell phone, as he ran down the stairs, his feet pounding against the cement floor.  "I need a team on 4th…I don't know which direction…Someone's trying to kill Alex Krycek…it is our business." Hayden hung up the phone as he reached the bottom of the stairwell.

            He ran outside but didn't see anything, without any leads on where anyone had gone, including those four hit men, Hayden stood rather impatiently and waited for his team to arrive.

*****************************************************************

            Alex stared at Sandra, "How can you possibly be afraid of heights? Even if you did fall, it's not like you're going to die."

            "We don't know that with absolution, do we. If I fall and break my neck, I'll be dead instantly…no time to heal. Plus, this isn't a fear I came up with yesterday, when I was little I fell off a ladder and broke my leg."

            Alex sighed, "Alright, just slowly grab onto the ladder and don't look down." Not that there really was much to see, as it was pitch black.

            Sandra tugged on her lower lip, the one thing they didn't need right now was her being a baby. She slowly, with utmost caution, climbed onto the ladder.

            "Okay good. Now just don't move," Alex told her, holding the flashlight with one hand, while skillfully climbing onto the ladder on top of her.

            His chest was pressed fully into her back, his right hand one rung above hers, holding the flashlight so it pointed to the side, while the other hand wrapped tightly around her stomach.

            "Okay, now we're going to take a step down with the left foot and drop the right hand down one," Alex told her, his body locking around her more.

            He was completely aware of the scent of her shampoo and the smell of soap that clung to her body. Her body felt so small and perfect against his, he could feel her softly shaking in fear and he reflexively held her tighter.

            "Alex, this is going to kill us both, just go down without me and I'll follow as fast as I can."

            Sandra wasn't only scared out of her mind, she was also aroused by the way he was pressed up to her and by the tightness of his arm around her stomach. His hot breath was tickling the hair around her ear, reminding her of when they had first met, minus the gun.

            Alex couldn't help but breathe in the scent of her hair, "Sand, just shut up and move."

            "Alex this is stupid! Just go!"

            "Sandra! It's not stupid, don't worry about it, I used to do this for a living."

            They were now moving at a steady speed, "What, helping crazed alien girls down ladders?"

            "I used to be a SEAL," he told her, knowing that conversation was distracting her and had them moving at a record pace. 

            "What?" Although it surprised her, at the same time, it sort of made sense.

            "You heard me. I enlisted when I turned eighteen and I ended up climbed the ranks pretty quickly," Alex grew quite for a minute, "Then my mom died and I decided that it would be best if I became a SEAL."

            Alex could tell they were nearing the basement, as he could see a faint light bouncing off the lower walls.

            "And I was good, really good at it. When I was about twenty-six this man approached me about joining the FBI…which it actually turned out to be a little more covert."

            Alex climbed off the ladder as they finally hit the bottom, then led Sandra down a hallway to the left and behind a door. The air was damp from the leaking pipes that aligned the walls of the dark cement passageway. The only light came from Alex's flashlight, which darted every few seconds, catching every dark corner.

            "I was making pretty decent money in the army but the money this guy was offering me…well, pretty much, one years salary could keep me leaving comfortably for the rest of my life."

            They once again, came to a door, which Alex unlocked and then guardedly looked out the door. Seeing nothing, he took Sandra's hand and ran towards his car, his head darting every which way for signs of movement.

            When they reached his car, Sandra's mouth fell open, it was a brand new Miata. "Yeah, this looks pretty comfortable to me, " She muttered, climbing in the passenger side of the navy coloured car

"Anyways, I'll give you two guesses on who made me the offer."

Sandra thought for a moment, she really didn't know all that much about Alex but she did know about one person, "That Cigarette-Smoking Man."

Alex smiled at her, "Yeah, CSM. And I took it…I 'm still not sure if it was a good idea or not." He pulled out of the parking spot and out of the basement parking garage.

"You know, if I were chasing after someone, I'd block off all the exits to the building." Sandra said, as they pulled out onto the street.

Alex threw the car into a higher gear, gracefully moving through the lighter night traffic of New York. "That's probably what they did. But they weren't thinking to block the exits of the building two doors down."

Sandra looked back down the street, seeing his building far in the distance. "Where are we going?"

Alex thought for second, "Airport? We'll go back to Calgary."

"Don't you know?" Alex shook his head. "Calgary's not safe.

Alex slowed his speed down as a cop car sped past. "What are you talking about?"

Sandra sighed, reliving that night, which she realized, was only last night. "Well, unless you call having a man dressed all in black, crashing through a window and shooting up my bedroom _and me safe, then we'll have to figure out another option. Turn here," Sandra pointed to the left._

Alex followed her direction, "He shot you?"

"Just in the shoulder. Turn right."

"Are you okay?" He wasn't sure how this 'instantaneous healing' thing worked, specifically with being shot.   

Sandra heard the worry in his voice, causing her to smile. Maybe he really did care… "As of this morning I still had a bruise but that's it."

"Oh. Where are we going?" He suddenly realized she'd been leading him around the city, taking away his usual control. It didn't bother him as much as he'd thought it would.

"Stop here," Sandra jumped out of the car before he had time to object.

Alex scanned the street but to his relief he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He organized this thoughts as he waited for Sandra, too many events had happened in the last few days for this all to be a coincidence. First him getting shot in Calgary, then Sandra's supposedly safe house being broken into, then four men finding her at his apartment. A place no one was supposed to know about.

Alex lined up a list of suspects; Hayden and the Resistance, Alex knew for sure, didn't know where Sandra was, as they were still looking for her. Plus these guys were trying to kill her and him, and the Resistance was far past wanting that. CSM and the Consortium were over, plus CSM though Sandra was dead and if anything he needed to keep Alex alive, as he was CSM's only 'ally'.

  He couldn't think of anybody else who knew about Sandra…unless this was just about him. It could be entirely possible that they were after him, that they'd hit Sandra's house looking for him since he'd been there only a few hours earlier.

He strained his memory, trying to remember who had shot him but he hadn't even seen it coming and he'd blacked out after that.

When they had been in Calgary, at the warehouse six months ago, Hayden and CSM had found them by way of a tracking device Hayden had injected into Sandra without her knowing. Alex knew that, that device would have only lasted a few days before it was broken down and left the body. But was it possible that someone had put one in her and that it may have lasted longer than it's few days. But then again, he was the one that was shot first, so maybe he had one…

"Okay, go to this address, " Sandra handed him a piece of paper as she lowered herself into the car.

Alex studied the address before pulling back onto the street. "Why did you just go into a gym? And where are we going?"

Sandra held a backpack in her arms, "My parents left me a bunch of stuff, so I hid it in a gym locker." She was far from trusting him yet, so the less he knew the better. "The address is to an apartment, I supposed to be safe."

Alex wasn't willing to give up all control, "Says who?"

"Says me."

Alex huffed, about to argue with her more when he spotted something out his window. Without word, he pulled into the hotel parking lot, parking behind a tree. He got out of the car but when Sandra didn't follow, he went around the side and yanked her out, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the lobby.

Sandra was mad enough with his behavior to kick him in the head but she reined in her temper, her attention glued to the room in front of her. The hotel looked like it's last heyday had been back in the seventies, with it's shaggy molded green carpet and walls that had probably once been yellow but were now faded and chipped. The only thing in the room was the front desk, which was encircled with wire fencing and only a small space at the bottom where Alex slid some money through.

The man sitting in the self-induced cage was as greasy as a McDonald's hamburger, with a balding head and dirty ripped clothes. He seemed to recognize Alex but said nothing as he slid a key through the opening, before going back to his tiny television.

Alex moved to the stairs, taking two at a time and Sandra had to rush to keep up with him. Once they got to the room, Alex locked the door and pulled the lime green drapes, closed.

"Take off your shirt," he ordered.

Sandra's stared at him, "Um, if you're looking for a quickie, buddy your in the wrong place."

His response was by removing his shirt then moving quickly over to her, not asking her again, he skillfully lifted the shirt off her and turned her so her back was to him.

"Hey! This could be classified as ra-" she shut her mouth as she felt his hands skating across her flesh.

He was looking for the tracker, which was always put near the shoulder but he couldn't help but let his hands wonder all over her back, which felt as smooth as silk. Her body was warm and it took all his internal strength not to drop his lips to her neck and taste her skin.

His hands probed her shoulder, finding what he wondered to be there, flipping open his knife, he wrapped his other arm across her breast bone. "This is going to hurt, so stay still."

Sandra felt the knife dig into her shoulder, causing her to bite her lip to restrain a scream. 

Before she knew it, Alex spun her around, looking her straight in the eyes. "Are you okay?" In his hand he held something that resembled a button. "This is a tracking device, I don't know how long you've had it and I don't know who put it in you."

Sandra's breath caught in her throat, if someone had been following her then…they would know all about the safety deposit box and…what if they tried to get John or Paul, what if they tried to kill them to get to her…

As if reading her mind, Alex said, "I think it's just you that they want. But I'm not sure it's only you who's been tracked, I need you to check me."      

Sandra nodded and Alex turned his back to her, "How do I know what I'm looking for?" She gingerly placed her hands on his back.

"Just feel around and see if anything is out of the ordinary, it should be around the shoulders."

Sandra did so, applying pressure to his back, feeling for something out of the ordinary. Even as part of her mind concentrated on the task, her stomach swam as she thought about how he had felt against her on the ladder and then a few minutes ago. She silently wondered if he had noticed but she greatly doubted it, he was all business.

She was just about to give up when she felt a small round piece above his shoulder blade, "I found it. " Alex nodded, handing her his knife. "Maybe you should lie down, it might be easier."

Alex laid down on his stomach and turned his head to face Sandra as she kneeled on the bed beside him. Maybe it was just the situation, with him shirtless and her in only a bra, but he thought he recognized a look of partial arousal on her face. Even though he really didn't know her all that well, he knew that look, so he turned his head to the other side.

"Ready?" Sandra asked before slicing open the area above where she felt the device and quickly digging it out. She placed her hands firmly over where she cut him, healing the incision.

Alex sat up as he felt the pain in his shoulder lessen, "We have to go."

Sandra nodded, grabbing her shirt, she was so relieved that they were leaving that she didn't notice Alex holding his coat in front him, to hide his arousal.

"I'm in a sweet, sweet hell," he muttered.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

            July 16, 1999

            7:41 PM

            "Sir, no one's found them yet."

            Hayden rubbed the back of his neck which was sore with tension, "What about the hit men?" The man shook his head, "Alright. Watch the airport, hotels and let's see if we can't get someone to watch the subways."

            The man nodded and skittered away to do his job, leaving Hayden to think over the situation, again. He couldn't think of anybody who wanted Sandra Ames dead but he did know about a billion people who wanted Alex Krycek dead. So maybe this had nothing to do with her…

            "Sir?" A police woman approached him, under the impression that Hayden was an FBI agent. "The table was set for two, in the man's apartment. We're running the finger prints now."

            Hayden waved his hand at her, "Don't worry about it, I'll get someone on my team on it." Hayden waved one of his men over, "This is agent Mallin, he'll assist you."

            Hayden took another walk around the apartment, he knew the hit men had used explosives to open the door and then they had shot the hell out of the place. Hayden ran his hand over the door frame of the bedroom, where the wood had splintered when, he guessed, Krycek and Ames had tried to hide in it and the hit men had then busted the door open.

            If this had been Krycek's escape route, Hayden didn't see a way out. There was no fire escape, no other door except the way in, so that meant there was a secret door or something, they just hadn't found it yet.

            "Excuse me," A police man tapped his shoulder. "But it seems that we have a night stand that's glued to the wall and we can't move it.

            Hayden walked quickly over to the furniture in question, "Shit," he silently cursed, they would be long gone by now. "Get this off and find out where the tunnel leads to, now!"

            They'd been so close and now Hayden had to start all over.

************************************************************

            11:13 PM

"Do you think anyone followed us?" Sandra asked, taking the key ring out of her pocket.

            "If anybody managed to follow us, I'd gladly give myself up out of pure admiration."

            Sandra took a deep breath before putting one of the keys in the apartment's lock. Out of the three keys that her parents had left her, it took three tries before she finally found the one that fit into the lock.

            She let Alex enter first, his gun by his side, ready just in case but they were only welcomed to a dark, empty apartment.

            As soon as she entered it, she could almost feel her parent's presence, the furniture, the style, even the Smooshed walls, with a different color in every room. The entrance, which was only a small hallway, was done in a soft light green, with an antique desk, sitting across from the mirrored closet.

            To the left there was a kitchen, which was done in black, very dramatic but in there it seemed to enhance the rest of the room. The kitchen was modernly done, with counter tops done in a dark and light splashed blue. A small table stood on the opposite side of the room, with a black metal frame and glass top.

            "You're parents were big fans of "Trading Spaces", weren't they?"

            Out the other kitchen door, to the left, was the dining room, done in dark red. Her parent's had once told her that red increases appetite and stimulates conversation. An oak table, which could sit eight sat in the middle of the room, with a china cabinet on the wall next to the kitchen.

            The dining room then opened up to the living room, done in the same color but was trimmed with an aqua border. Like Alex's apartment, the couch and two chairs were black leather, with the tables and entertainment center done in black as well.

            "This is not a bad place," Alex commented, walking back to the entrance.

            Sandra couldn't even begin to describe how at home she felt, this place was so much like the house she had shared with her parent's years before. Sandra's dad had worked at the University of Boston, as a professor of Anthropology and her mom was a nurse at a nearby hospital. Although she'd only lived there for there for only five years, Boston was still a place she called home. 

            Now as she walked around, she knew this was now her home.

            "I think I'm going to go get some sleep," Sandra told Alex, going upstairs.

            He nodded at her, opting to stay down in the main floor bedroom, the farther away from Sandra, the better. Instead of going to bed though, Alex sat on the stairs, his gun sitting in his lap, staring at the front door. He wasn't really expecting anyone to come through it but he felt safer being there.

            It bothered him a lot that someone had found his apartment, his one safe haven. It had been the only place that he could be himself, the only place he didn't have to hide from everything. It was a place where he could be totally cut off from his amazingly screwed up life, he only realized now how much it mattered to him.

            He had no idea how long he had been sitting there when he heard a wrangled scream come from upstairs. Alex practically flew up the stairs, gun ready, to the landing. Four doors challenged him but after some debate, he heard soft crying coming from the farthest left door. Not pausing, he threw the door open to find Sandra sitting on the bed, under the blankets, her body leaned into her knees and her hands over her face.

            She turned her tear-stained face when she heard Alex burst in, embarrassment flooded her eyes. 

            "Are you okay?"

            "Sorry, I just had a nightmare, I didn't mean to wake you." She said weakly, her dream had been so disturbingly real.

            Alex shifted his weight from one foot to the other, "Oh. Do you want to talk about it?" 

            "No, I'm okay," she could tell that this was making him uncomfortable. "I'll be fine." She really didn't want him to leave but she'd never ask him to stay.

            "Okay…I'm just going to be next door, if you need me." Alex figured he probably should get some sleep, he couldn't stare at the front door all night.

            Sandra forced a smile, "Okay, 'night'."

            Alex stood for several seconds, pondering whether he should ask her if she wanted him to stay, though he knew that could be a dangerous idea. He could tell she was scared, that whatever she'd seen in her dream had really gotten to her. He remembered when his sister Ana started having terrible nightmares right after their father had been killed. He didn't want his mother to know, since she had been so upset, so Alex would sit up with his younger sister until she fell asleep. Sandra was definitely quite a bit older but he still sensed the same raw fear.

            "You don't want, um…do you want me to, ah hell. I'm gonna sit here awhile, okay?"

            Sandra stared queerly at him but she wasn't about to argue since she really wanted him to stay. 

            Alex moved to the other side on the bed and sat, leaving a large space between them, as he leaned back against the head board. 

            Sandra turned her back to him and laid down, "Good-night."

            "Good-night."

[A/N: Smooshing is a painting effect where you paint the wall and then put on a glaze, then put a plastic drop sheet on the wall and wrinkle and rub the sheet. It's a very cool effect but a lot of work!] 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

            July 29, 1999

            5:01 PM

            "So I got the steak but I couldn't find the red wine I wanted so we'll have to make do." Alex put his shopping bag up on the counter. "What are you doing?"

            Sandra was bent over a mixing bowl, spatula in one hand, cookbook in the other, "Making dessert."

            Alex leaned over her, looking into the bowl, whatever it was, it looked a little strange. "Is it supposed to look like that?"

            Sandra shooed him away, "I turned on the barbeque for you, go cook something on it." She turned back to her creation.

            It had been almost two weeks since Sandra had, had her strange nightmare and Alex had slept in her room. He had stayed in his room since then, not knowing that her nightmares had persisted. They were getting worse, enough so that she tried to stay awake most nights. She'd finished three novels in the past week, in her pursuit to stay awake. She wasn't sure if Alex noticed or not, since she did a pretty good job on her under-eye makeup and she always went to bed before him, keeping the light low in her room.

            As she stared into the depths of the bowl, she tried to remember how many eggs she'd put in but her fatigued brain hadn't even processed that information. She cursed when she realized that she'd put way too much milk in and wondered even if there was a point in trying to salvage it.

            She was tired of not pulling her weight in the cooking department, every night Alex made dinner and all she could do was stand a watch. Although she had learned a lot, she still lacked the talent Alex had, which was blaringly obvious now.

            "How's it going?"

            It was question Sandra had been dreading since she'd taken her concoction out of the oven minutes ago. Alex had already put the steaks on the grill and made the salad, he was now popping some baked potatoes into the stove.

            "Um, well…Jesus Christ I suck at this." Sandra threw her hands up in the air.

            Alex laughed and handed her a glass of red wine, "It doesn't look so bad," To distract her away from her disaster, it really was scary, Alex tilted his glass to the patio just outside the kitchen. "I think we should eat outside."

            Sandra gave one last glance at her failed attempt to regain her cooking pride before being led out into the beautiful night.

            They ate dinner, making causal conversation, which had been getting old after the first week but it was the still the effort that counted. They kept to current topics, not mentioning anything about their past or anything personal but since all they did was stay in the apartment all day, they really didn't have anything to talk about. In fact Sandra was starting to get a major case of cabin fever which was only amplified by her lack of sleep. It was a wonder that she wasn't raging around the place with a murderous case of PMS.

                        Later that night, sitting on the couch watching the movie, Alex noticed Sandra starting to nod off. It hadn't missed his attention that she hadn't been sleeping, though he had no idea how bad it really was. He lifted her up into his arms without waking her, carrying her up the stairs to her room and laying her down on the bed. She gently curled around him when he laid down next to her.

            He knew he should probably leave but he couldn't bring himself to pull away, she seemed so fragile in his arms. Even without noticing, he moved his face so it was right next to her, breathing in her scent. He'd been careful these last few weeks not to make any physical contact, to ignore the sexual pull to her. It wasn't even just that though, he didn't just want to sleep with her, he truly just wanted to hold her, to feel her body against his. Still, he was enjoying all this time he got to spend with her, especially since he knew that it wouldn't last very long.

            He finally pulled away, slowly and carefully sliding off her socks and jeans, and slipping her under the covers. As he headed to the door, he heard her moan softly to stay. He ran his hand over her cheek and slid into a chair next to the bed, grabbing the blanket off the bottom of her bed.

            He had just slipped into sleep when he heard Sandra moan and when he opened his eyes he saw the blankets knotted around her and she was shifting back and forth frantically. Before Alex could get to her, she shot up and looked around.

            She saw Alex moving towards the bed, "What are you doing here?"

            Alex ignored the question, moving to sit beside, "How long have these nightmares been going on?"

            Sandra suddenly became very interested in her bedspread. "Since we got here."

            Alex let out a fierce groan, "Why didn't you tell me?"

            Even though the images from her dream were still floating in her brain, she concentrated on Alex, which gave her a strange amount of comfort.

            An image from her dream flooded her head and she felt tears spring in her eyes. Alex gently pulled her to him, rubbing his hand over her hair and softly told her that everything would be alright when she started to sob.

            At the sound of her crying his heart seemed to break in two, it was the worst sound in the whole world and he wanted so badly to make her stop. But he wouldn't, she needed to get it out because she was holding something inside her and that was probably what was causing the dreams. 

            When she stopped, Alex held her face in his hands, tilting her head to his, "Tell me about them."

            Sandra shook her head, she was afraid that if she did, they might come true. "I can't."

            Alex gently kissed her forehead, "You need to talk about them otherwise they won't go away."

            Sandra shut her eyes, trying to bring back the images. "It starts off in this room and it's really dark but I can see this light coming from this crack in the wall, the light's red. There's also this fog, it's really heavy and it makes it hard to breath. And I can feel someone else in the room but I can't see them. And then I can't open my eyes, I can't see anything and I feel this cold wind, rush over me. Then it's gone and I open my eyes and I see you." Sandra turned her head away from him not wanting to continue. 

            "Then I kill you."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

            July 30, 1999

            10:36 AM

            "Who the hell is trying to kill me?"

            Hayden looked up from his desk into the eyes of Alex Krycek, "Why hello Krycek, how are you?" He said sarcastically.

            Krycek glared back, "Cut the shit Hayden, who's trying to kill me?"

            Hayden mirrored his expression, "Why don't you tell me where Sandra Ames is."

            Krycek sat in the chair, crossing his ankle over the opposite knee, a look of disinterested settled on his face, "I have no idea."

            "Really?" Hayden barely kept his eyes from rolling in their sockets, "Did you enjoy your cozy little dinner for two a couple of weeks ago?" He changed his tone from sarcastic to serious, "Krycek, you have a responsibility to The Resistance-"  

            "So you thought offing me would be proper punishment?" Alex interrupted. 

            Hayden could feel his temper start to rise but he kept his voice calm, "Whoever is trying to kill you, wants Sandra Ames dead as well, and you and I both know that if she dies, the world is over." Hayden paused for a minute, leaning forwards in his chair, "Don't be an idiot Alex, bring her in and I promise we'll protect her."

            Krycek stood up but simply stared at a spot above Hayden's head, his mind deep in thought. He turned to leave and Hayden called out, "Every single day that passes, is a step against humanities survival." 

            Hayden watched Krycek leave, not sure if had been successful or not but just in case…He lifted his suit jacket off his chair and followed Krycek out.

***********************************************

            Sandra wasn't sure how long Alex was going to be gone but she knew an opportunity when she saw it. The closest she'd been to outside for the last two weeks was her patio. 

            As she walked along the crowded streets of New York, going from store to store, Sandra breathed in the fresh air, as it was for New York air. It was a beautiful sunny day with just a faint breeze passing through the streets, which would have made for an excellent day to go walking through Central Park.

            She indulged and bought a few useless items including a book and a DVD she'd wanted to see. Then she walked a few blocks to a coffee shop, ordered a flavored coffee, took a seat on the patio and watched the people scurry around.

            There were women carrying mounds of shopping bags, looking mad for no apparent reason, business men, entranced in their cell phone conversation and people just walking with no purpose, just like she had been doing moments before. 

            Every once in a while she'd see a couple holding hands, giving quick, passionate kisses and Sandra couldn't help but feel envious towards them. Although she'd never admit it, Sandra was a romantic. She believed that there is one person out there for everyone who will love you through anything and everything. It was a naïve hope in this day and age where most relationships consisted of a one night stand. She wasn't stupid, but she still held on to that wild notion, despite her experiences in the past.

            She'd met Brandon in high school and at the time she'd had no interest him, but later, after her parents had died, he'd just been in the right place at the right time, so to speak. He was a bit of a bad boy but he'd been quick to consol her, though it had ended up being a more physical act then she had wanted. Only a week after they'd started 'dating' he convinced her to move with him to New York and her, being blindly in love, agreed. 

            After a month of draining all the money she got from her minimum wage waitressing job, Sandra had found Brandon 'consoling' another woman, on their kitchen table.

            It had taken her a while and more than a few romance novels, to remind her, that she'd just met the wrong guy, a really, really, wrong guy. Still though, trust was hard to earn from her, which was why she questioned whether or not she was in love with Alex.

            Could you be in love with someone you don't trust?

            She remembered how he had held her until she had fallen asleep after she'd had that nightmare last night. How he'd run his hand gently over her hair, kissing her forehead and whispering that everything was going to be alright.

            Did she trust him, then?

            As if to answer her, Alex Krycek walked out of the building across the street. He looked mad and Sandra was about to go after him when she saw someone else exiting the building, James Hayden.

            Alex had betrayed her.

            Hayden must have realized that letting her go had been a mistake and now he'd re-hired Krycek to kill her. That's how those men had found her in Calgary, Krycek had told them. The tracking devices, then men bursting into his apartment, the escape, it had all been a ply, this was all a set-up. 

            Sandra ran for a cab, hoping to make it back to her apartment before Krycek and grab what she needed. As her mind rambled out incoherent though, doubts started to cast over her as she rode back, if Krycek was planning on killing her, why wait so long? And what about him getting shot in Calgary? Was she supposed to find him there, to bring him to her, no that couldn't be it because then John…maybe he was, was it possible he was in on this? And what about her parent's lawyer, John, had he told Krycek about all the money and that's why he hadn't killed her yet because he was looking for it?

            All the questions that were lolling around in her brain were starting to make her dizzy and a little nauseous, so she concentrated on the road ahead. As she walked into her apartment building, she tried to hide her panic as she smiled at the doorman. She ran up the stairs, nearing the top when she heard the door at the bottom of the stairs opened. Not bothering to look, she ran to her door, opened it and ran to her bedroom.

            Throwing off the painting above the bed, she turned the combination into the lock and took out her backpack. Before she could make it to her door, she heard the front door open.

            Running to the window, she realized the only way out was through the bedroom across the hall, which had a fire escape.

            She was crossing the hallway when she heard Krycek yell her name, ignoring him, she kept moving. She was just about to reach the door when she felt Krycek's arm's grab her around the waist.

            "Don't run," he ordered, pressing her against the wall.

            She tried to kick and punch her way out, but he wouldn't let go despite the beating, "You bastard! I won't let you kill me."

            "Sandra listen to me, please," he yelled, looking into her eyes but she elbowed him in the stomach.

            Lunging for the door, Sandra got it half-way closed when Krycek threw himself into it. Catching Sandra's arm, he pulled her to him, locking her arms in front of her and tripping her so she was lying on her back. 

            "Sandra, I'm not going to hurt you if you listen to me."

            She was completely immobile, Krycek was sitting on her legs and he had her arms pinned to the floor. "Go to hell."

            Alex sighed, he'd seen her back on the street just outside of The Resistance's headquarters. Judging from her expression he figured she must have seen Hayden, who was indiscreetly following Alex.

            "There are things that are going on that you don't understand but I'll explain them if you just calm down."

            Sandra glared at him, "I understand, I'm a threat to the world right, or is it that you want my money? Tell me Krycek, why did you stab me in the back?"

            The use of his last name, it's cold delivery, stabbed at his heart but he ignored it, "Sandra, I didn't mean to hurt you, you have to believe me." He brought his head down to hers, hoping to convey his emotions to her.

            Instead of understanding him, she butted her head into his, kicking him off her and bolting for the window. She was inches away, when she heard a bang. Turning, she saw James Hayden holding what looked like a tranquillizer gun and then everything went black.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

            2:41 PM

            "Sandra?"

            Of all the sights she expected to see, she got the only one she didn't want, "Go away Krycek."

            Alex smiled at her, "You're mad at me."

            Sandra sat up but a blinding pain in her head had her lying back down, "Jeez you're observant," she said sarcastically. Her face grew serious, "What do you want from me?"

            Alex was sitting in a chair next to the bed, he studied the floor below his feet. "We need your help."

            Sandra nodded and sat up, careful not to let the tears of betrayal enter her eyes, she would not let him think she was weak. She could see though, that she had no choice but to go along with them. "For what?"

            Alex sighed, "I want to leave that for later. First I want you to understand this had nothing to do with betrayal." For most of his career he'd done things that looked like he was double-crossing someone, but he never cared if the person knew it was for the best. That what Alex was doing for them, no matter how bad it looked, benefited them in the end. He never explained himself, he didn't care if people believed him but he wanted Sandra to believe him more than anything.

            "Don't bother." She stood up and walked across the room that looked like a hotel room without windows. "I don't know who you are."

            Alex stood quickly, moving over to her, he grabbed her arms, gently turning her to him, "Yes you do. You are the only one who knows me, all of me. The good and the bad."

            Sandra tore her eyes from the floor to look him in the eye, trying to retain her glare, "I don't know anything about you except that you'll put money and power above all else."

            Alex let her arms go, struggling to think of what to say, "Before I met you…that was true but since then, I've found something else that I want more than anything else," he paused for a long time, "You."

            Sandra was about to protest, but Alex held his hand up, "There's something I have to tell you. Right after I thought you died, I started working with The Resistance. The Consortium was ending and they offered me a job. They hired me to be your bodyguard, so to speak."

            Sandra let it all sink in, "Well, then why'd you leave me in Calgary, to get shot?"

            "I turned the job down. When it comes to you, I don't trust anyone. And I knew if I found you, then The Resistance would bring you in and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. That's why I've been hiding you from them for the last few weeks but now I realize that hiding you, helps no one."

            "So you've decided to take the job?"

            Alex had to smile, he knew she hated the idea of having him watch over her, "Yeah."

            Sandra brushed past him, moving to the other side of the room, "Well no thank you. I can take care of myself."

            "Sandra," his tone warned.

            "I'm not a baby Krycek, I don't need a baby-sitter." Her voice was cold.

            Alex groaned, "You are the most difficult women! Fine. You deal with this on your own, see how long that lasts." he said before storming out.

            Sandra glared after him, now what was she supposed to do, she was stuck in this cell with no apparent exit. She went to the adjoining bathroom and found a sewing kit among the other hotel paraphernalia. Taking two pins like she'd seen on TV, she put then into the door and wiggled them around, trying to pick the lock.  

            Sandra had been at it for more than ten minutes when the door opened and slammed into her head.

            "You know the door's open," James Hayden told her as he helped her up.

            "Oh look, it's the guy who shot me."

            Hayden rolled his eyes at her, "It was with a horse tranquilizer."

            Sandra stared at him in disgust, "Don't those kill people?"

            Hayden laughed, "We needed something that would knock _you out for more than five seconds."_

            Sandra sneered at him, "So you could do what, operate on me?"

            "You can leave Miss Ames if you want. But I would hope for the sake of mankind you'll follow me."

            Sandra weighed her options as Hayden left the room, she could run and hide or she could find out what she was running from. Curiosity won out.

            "This better be good."

***************************************************

            "Sandra Ames, I'd like you to meet The Resistance," James Hayden introduced her as she sat around a large wood table.

            She was about to make a remark about how they were the ones that had ordered her to be killed but she decided to keep her smart ass mouth shut. She instead managed a nod and a weak smile.

            Surrounding her, around the table, were five women and seven men, including Alex Krycek and James Hayden. An older man sitting at the head of the table stood up and began to speak, "My name is Joseph Neller and I co-founded The Resistance ten years ago. My colleague and I used to work with The Consortium. Are you familiar with them?"

            Sandra nodded her head.

            "They started out with good intentions but towards the end they were more interested in preserving themselves than earth. Some would argue it was their own selfishness that did them in," To explain himself further he threw a picture across the table at her. It was of a warehouse, its floor covered in piles of soot.

            Hayden stood, picking up the conversation, "Those piles of ash are what used to be human bodies, the bodies of the Consortium members and their families. They were burned by The Rebels for working with the aliens."

            Sandra stared in shock at the pictures, this was all a lot more serious then she originally thought. 

            "Our plan," Hayden continued, "As I explained to you before, is to find an alien weakness and exploit it."

            "And since I'm half-alien, you want to test on me," Sandra said bitterly.

            "Frankly, yes," Neller answered.

            Sandra stared at the table, completely at a loss for words. She desperately wished for this all to be a dream, to go back to before she had learned about aliens, before she met Krycek.

            Neller continued, "Mr. Krycek will be acting as your bodyguard from this point on. You will report here every day under the alias of Sandra Ashby. To everyone else, this building houses a Medical manufacturing company, if anyone asks, you work as a lab assistant.

            Before he could continue further, Sandra interrupted him, "As much as I appreciate you taking complete control of my life," she said sarcastically. "I can take care of myself. That is, _if_ I decided to do this." Sandra stood.

            Following her, the rest of the people around the table stood, "Of course you can take a few days to think about it but Miss Ames, I must press upon you the urgency of the situation. Mr. Krycek will stay with you at all times." Neller reiterated.

            Sandra was starting to lose her temper, "I told you, I can take care of myself," she said firmly.

            Neller stared back at her with equal determination, "This is not a point I'm willing to negotiate."

            Sandra stifled a huff, "Fine." She then left the room without another word. She could leave with Alex Krycek but she wasn't guaranteeing that she'd come back with him alive.


	20. Chapter 20 PG13 Version

            You can run from me

            You can hide from me

            But I am right beside you 

            In this life

                        -Chantal Kreviazuk "In This Life"

[A/N: This version doesn't miss any of the necessary parts it's just not as smutty]

Chapter Twenty- PG-13 Version

            4:01 PM

            Sandra didn't say a word as they drove back to her apartment, a murderous expression crossing her face whenever Alex made eye-contact. He managed to keep his temper until she slammed the apartment door in his face.

            "Listen to me you brat," he yelled, opening and slamming the door behind him, grabbing her arm. "You listen good and well," his eyes stared menacingly into hers. "You were created for one reason and one reason only, to combat the aliens, to save this planet. You don't get to live a normal life." he finished harshly.

            Sandra knew that to be true, which was part of the reason she was so upset but still, part of her could not accept it. "I know that but do you realize how hard it is to, in one decision, give up your whole life? To be told, the only purpose I have in life is to be someone's guinea pig?"

            Alex relaxed his grip on her arm as he listened to her patiently, waiting for her to finish.

            Sandra stared into his green eyes, searching for what she wasn't sure, when she felt her arm shoot out under his jacket and pulling his gun on him.

            "And if it hadn't been for you, I would have had a chance for a life." She pressed the gun harder into his temple. "I'll never get a chance at love, have a career or have kids," She forced the words out through clenched teeth, her breath rushing in and out.

            Alex slowly raised his hand to the gun, bringing it down gently, when Sandra didn't resist he took it from her and placed it on a table. Tears that had pooled in her eyes, were now pouring down her face, Alex brought his hands to frame her face, gently wiping away the tears.

            "Sandra, none of those things are being completely taken away from you, it just makes it much harder. You have to make sacrifices but so does everyone, so do I."

            "What did you sacrifice?" She asked staring in to Alex's eyes, remembering the first time she'd connected with them, the internal pull towards them.

            "My soul."

            Sandra brought her hand up to his face, shaking her head, "You still have a soul, a beautiful one." She said simply. She remembered the trust she had felt for him when they'd first met, despite everything that was going on, she had trusted him then. She realized now, she still did, always had, no matter how hard she had tried to fight it.

            As she stared into those entrancing eyes, she couldn't help but become mesmerized by him. His dark hair, his muscular body, his face, which could change from menacing to kind in seconds. But the one thing that had all of her attention at the time, was his mouth. She licked her lips, as the thought of what it felt like to kiss him, swarmed her head, causing her heart to quicken and her cheeks to warm.

            "Sandra," Alex breathed as he felt her moving closer. Slowly he brought his lips to meet hers, holding them captive for the longest of seconds. She opened her mouth to him but he only ran his lips over hers softly, enticing a sigh from her throat. As he deepened the kiss, she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, memorizing the feel. 

            His tongue flooded her mouth, igniting a hot spark in her body, the kiss becoming faster and urgent. As Alex pulled her body tighter to him, her head felt lighter, her body too heavy for her knees.

            "God, Sand, you're so beautiful, "He gently walked her back into the wall, pressing his body against hers, trying to get as close as possible.

            Sandra snaked her hands up his chest pushing off his suit jacket, then loosening his tie and pulling it off, letting it float to the ground. She ran her hand over his neck, lightly fingering the silver chain.

            Alex lifted her up into his arms, as Sandra wrapped her legs around his waist and tightened her arms around his neck. Sandra's lips moved to his neck, lightly dragging her teeth across his skin, pushing down the collar of his shirt, she nipped at the muscles in his shoulders. He slowly walked them into the main floor bedroom, laying her softly on the bed.

            "I missed you, " Sandra said as he leaned over her, running a hand over his cheek.

            Alex turned his lips to her hand, giving it a tiny kiss, then he took it in his own hand and pulled her up to sitting. "I need to tell you something," Sandra nodded for him to continue. Feeling an intense urge to pace, Alex sat on the bed, holding tightly onto Sandra's hand. "Ever since I met you," he paused looking into her eyes, "You…you changed my life. I didn't really have much of a life anyways, but you made me want one. To stop leading this dead-end continuous search for power and money." Alex ran a hand over the back of his neck, he'd never been comfortable talking about feelings, the idea usually made his skin crawl but this was something he needed to do. 

            Reluctantly, he got up and started pacing the floor, "I mean if you hadn't come into my life, I don't know what I would be like."

            Sandra stood up, turning him to face her, "Alex look at me."

            "I'm in love with you," he said as if it were a bad thing.

            "What's wrong with that?" Sandra already knew why and it had nothing to do with her.

            Alex scoffed, "How many people have warned you about me? I have more enemies than our government. I kill, I abandon and I betray everyone. You don't want me to be in love with you and I don't want you to be in love with me."

            He tried to move away, but Sandra held his head in her hands, "Too bad then. Because I am in love with you. There's no one else that I'd rather be with. Even when you do something that makes me want to kill you, I still love you and strangely, when I think you betray me, I still trust you. I don't know if that amounts to insanity but it definitely amounts to love. I love you." She kissed him fully, pulling him onto the bed.

            "There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone," he said through kisses, lifting her shirt over her head.

            "I'm fully aware of the difference and I'm in love with you." She undid his dress shirt, pushing it off his broad shoulders.

            "Love doesn't last forever."

            Sandra stopped what she was doing and stared deeply into his eyes, "This will." 


	21. Chapter 20 NC17 Version

You can run from me

            You can hide from me

            But I am right beside you 

            In this life

                        -Chantal Kreviazuk "In This Life"

[A/N: Don't read this version if you are into smut and sex, etc. Run to the other version, you're not missing anything important]

Chapter Twenty- NC-17 Version

            4:01 PM

            Sandra didn't say a word as they drove back to her apartment, a murderous expression crossing her face whenever Alex made eye-contact. He managed to keep his temper until she slammed the apartment door in his face.

            "Listen to me you brat," he yelled, opening and slamming the door behind him, grabbing her arm. "You listen good and well," his eyes stared menacingly into hers. "You were created for one reason and one reason only, to combat the aliens, to save this planet. You don't get to live a normal life." he finished harshly.

            Sandra knew that to be true, which was part of the reason she was so upset but still, part of her could not accept it. "I know that but do you realize how hard it is to, in one decision, give up your whole life? To be told, the only purpose I have in life is to be someone's guinea pig?"

            Alex relaxed his grip on her arm as he listened to her patiently, waiting for her to finish.

            Sandra stared into his green eyes, searching for what she wasn't sure, when she felt her arm shoot out under his jacket and pull his gun on him.

            "And if it hadn't been for you, I would have had a chance for a life." She pressed the gun harder into his temple. "I'll never get a chance at love, have a career or have kids," She forced the words out through clenched teeth, her breath rushing in and out.

            Alex slowly raised his hand to the gun, bringing it down gently, when Sandra didn't resist he took it from her and placed it on a table. Tears that had pooled in her eyes, were now pouring down her face, Alex brought his hands to frame her face, gently wiping away the tears.

            "Sandra, none of those things are being completely taken away from you, it just makes it much harder. You have to make sacrifices but so does everyone, so do I."

            "What did you sacrifice?" She asked staring in to Alex's eyes, remembering the first time she'd connected with them, the internal pull towards them.

            "My soul."

            Sandra brought her hand up to his face, shaking her head, "You still have a soul, a beautiful one." She said simply. She remembered the trust she had felt for him, when they'd first met, despite everything that was going on, she had trusted him then. She realized now, she still did, always had, no matter how hard she had tried to fight it.

            As she stared into those entrancing eyes, she couldn't help but become mesmerized by him. His dark hair, his muscular body, his face, which could change from menacing to kind in seconds. But the one thing that had all of her attention at the time, was his mouth. She licked her lips, as the thought of what it felt like to kiss him, swarmed her head, causing her heart to quicken and her cheeks to warm.

            "Sandra," Alex breathed as he felt her moving closer. Slowly he brought his lips to meet hers, holding them captive for the longest of seconds. She opened her mouth to him but he only ran his lips over hers softly, enticing a sigh from her throat. As he deepened the kiss, she ran her tongue over his bottom lip, memorizing the feel. 

            His tongue flooded her mouth, igniting a hot spark in her body, the kiss becoming faster and urgent. As Alex pulled her body tighter to him, her head felt lighter, her body too heavy for her knees.

            "God, Sand, you're so beautiful, "He gently walked her back into the wall, pressing his body against hers, trying to get as close as possible.

            Sandra snaked her hands up his chest pushing off his suit jacket, then loosening his tie and pulling it off, letting it float to the ground. She ran her hand over his neck, lightly fingering the silver chain.

            Alex lifted her up into his arms, as Sandra wrapped her legs around his waist and tightened her arms around his neck. Sandra's lips moved to his neck, lightly dragging her teeth across his skin, pushing down the collar of his shirt, she nipped at the muscles in his shoulders. He slowly walked them into the main floor bedroom, laying her softly on the bed.

            "I missed you, " Sandra said as he leaned over her, running a hand over his cheek.

            Alex turned his lips to her hand, giving it a tiny kiss, then he took it in his own hand and pulled her up to sitting. "I need to tell you something," Sandra nodded for him to continue. Feeling an intense urge to pace, Alex sat on the bed, holding tightly onto Sandra's hand. "Ever since I met you," he paused looking into her eyes, "You…you changed my life. I didn't really have much of a life anyways, but you made me want one. To stop leading this dead-end continuous search for power and money." Alex ran a hand over the back of his neck, he'd never been comfortable talking about feelings, the idea usually made his skin crawl but this was something he needed to do. 

            Reluctantly, he got up and started pacing the floor, "I mean if you hadn't come into my life, I don't know what I would be like."

            Sandra stood up, turning him to face her, "Alex look at me."

            "I'm in love with you," he said as if it were a bad thing.

            "What's wrong with that?" Sandra already knew why and it had nothing to do with her.

            Alex scoffed, "How many people have warned you about me? I have more enemies than our government. I kill, I abandon and I betray everyone. You don't want me to be in love with you and I don't want you to be in love with me."

            He tried to move away, but Sandra held his head in her hands, "Too bad then. Because I am in love with you. There's no one else that I'd rather be with. Even when you do something that make me want to kill you, I still love you and strangely, when I think you betray me, I still trust you. I don't know if that amounts to insanity but it definitely amounts to love. I love you." She kissed him fully, pulling him onto the bed.

            "There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone," he said through kisses, lifting her shirt over her head.

            "I'm fully aware of the difference and I'm in love with you." She undid his dress shirt, pushing it off his broad shoulders.

            "Love doesn't last forever."

            Sandra stopped what she was doing and stared deeply into his eyes, "This will." 

            Alex hungrily took her mouth, his tongue pulsing in and out, his arms pulling her close to him. He lifted her off the bed, snapping her bra skillfully off with one hand, then pulling it off her arms. His fingers lightly danced down her body, reaching her jeans, he popped the button and slid the zipper down. Placing a soft kiss below her belly-button, he pulled off her jeans, panties and socks in one smooth motion.

            He wasn't afraid, he wasn't worried, for the first time in a long time, he felt really good. He couldn't believe this woman that was in front of him, this perfect being, so incredibly beautiful, strong and smart and she was in love with him. Even if he died tomorrow, he could finally die happy just to have spent this moment with her. He thought he had sold his soul to the devil, she made him feel like it had been rightfully given back to him. 

             Sandra sat up to where Alex was standing and undid his belt and pants, running her lips across the dark tuft of hair above the waistband. Alex let his pants fall to the ground and stepped out of his socks, as Sandra dug her fingers into the elastic of his boxers. Feeling his hard hips, she slipped her hands down further, pushing off the boxers.

As Sandra stared up into his deep green eyes, she knew this was different from the first time, that this was different from any other time. He had somehow lost the darkness that continuously crowded his eyes and was replaced with utter rawness. She felt like she was seeing him, truly, for the first time.

Alex laid down beside her as they both memorized the other's body. Alex lifted his finger to her lips, tracing their outline, then he slid his finger down an imaginary line on the centre of her body, resting between her breasts. He cupped one, running his finger over the tip, he moved his body on top of hers, keeping his eyes locked on hers as he ravished her mouth.

            As he moved his lips down to her neck and then to her breasts, Sandra reached her hands to his hips, running her fingers lightly over them, to his base and back, gently toying with his senses. He moaned as she dropped her hands and encircling him, stroking it lightly.

            Moving his tongue over her hard tip of her breast, Alex drifted a hand down her body, stroking her inner thigh. Slowly he moved a single finger to her centre and quickly plunged it inside.

            "God Alex," she cried as he pumped his finger in and out of her, sending her senses into chaos.

            He coaxed her to the brink slowly before pulling out, teasing her. She grabbed his hips in desperation and moved them towards her, slowly he thrust into her, inducing a cry from them both. He plunged rythmetically faster and faster into her until he felt her contract around him and screamed his name. He trust one last time before he came inside her, not able to keep from calling out her name over and over.

            He heavily collapsed on top of her before rolling her on top, not taking himself out of her. Sandra laid her head on his chest, hearing his heart beating heavily, as she too, tried to catch her breath.

            "I love you," Alex said softly.

            She smiled up at him, "I love you too." 


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

            July 31, 1999

            8:49 AM

            Sandra hadn't been paying attention the day before when she left The Resistance building and she'd missed a lot. Upon entering Medfac, Alex and her were greeted by a receptionist at the front desk, who had them sign in. Later she would find out the pen had a fingerprint scanner that checked their identities. They were then led down a hallway and onto an elevator, where after pushing a button, a retina scanner pooped out, after another confirmation, the elevator descended for a few minutes, taking them to a level five hundred under ground to the offices of The Resistance. 

            "What, no voice recognition?" Sandra asked sarcastically.

            Hayden came up behind them, "We're still working on that." He stopped in front of them, "Good morning, I hope you're both well rested for today." His words seem to imply something but he didn't elaborate. "Krycek, you're to go down the hall for training and Miss Ames you're to come with me."

            Alex gave her an encouraging smile before following Hayden's instructions.

            As Sandra followed Hayden down the opposite hallway she asked, "What does he need training in?"

            Hayden continued walking as he spoke, "If he's going to be your protector, he'll need the utmost of fighting skills."

            "Wouldn't it be easier to just get someone who's already trained, to protect me?"

            Hayden stopped walking and turned to face her, "Do you believe in fate?"

            Sandra had put a lot of thought into that question lately, she still wasn't sure of the answer.

            "Don't you find it odd that the man who saved your life, is the son of the man who made you who you are?"

            "You mean this was all set-up?"

            Hayden continued down the hallway, "No, not in the sense that you're thinking of anyways. If Nicholas Krycek hadn't hidden you from the Consortium, it's very likely that you wouldn't be the same person. You be just a tool, with no soul, no emotions…" He stopped again, "No heart.

            "I believe you are here to save the earth from the invasion and I believe Alex Krycek is here, on this earth, to protect you, just as his father did before him." Hayden opened a door to a large testing room, full of machinery and other medical paraphernalia. "We're all here on this world for a reason, let's go prove my theory."

*****************************************************

            "I thought we had an understanding?"

            Errey could barely keep his voice from shaking over the phone, "I know but it seems that they can't be found. The tracking devices were all we had and they found them a few weeks ago."

            The other man's voice was colder than ice, "This is most disturbing." 

            "I know. I'm very sorry but-" Errey took the phone away from his ear, feeling something wet. When he looked he saw a black ooze come from the earpiece. "No," he screamed, dropping the phone and running to the nearest mirror, where he saw the blackness move inside his ear before disappearing. Another scream exited his lips before his face went blank and cold.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

July 31, 1999

7:32 PM

            The elevator seemed ten times longer than usual as Sandra and Alex rode it up to the apartment. They shared a few knowing grins and slight-of-hand touches as they waited to reach the safety of the front door.

            Alex barely had closed the door behind them before they both dropped their jackets and they collided together in a powerful, needy kiss.

            "I waited all day for this," Sandra said between kisses, pulling Alex's tie towards the stairs.

            Alex tugged off Sandra's suit jacket, as he followed her up the stairs to the bedroom, "Thinking of you was the only thing that got me through the day."

            Sandra smiled at that, though she felt a little stupid for feeling so happy that he thought about her, so she pushed it to the back of her mind. "Hey, you didn't have people sticking needles into you all day."

            The thought of that stabbed at Alex but he didn't let it ruin the moment, "You didn't have people kicking your ass all day."

            Sandra laid a soft kiss on his ear, "Let's just forget about today."

            Alex stared into her eyes for a long minute, completely in awe of how amazing she made him feel, "Deal."

*********************************************

August 1, 1999

2:34 AM

            The click of the door closing set off the silent alarm, alerting Hayden, in the main bedroom, of an intruder.

            Grabbing his gun, Hayden silently crawled out of bed and out of the bedroom. He slid slowly across the wall to his son, Kent's, room checking on his sleeping form before closing and locking the door.

            He heard the bottom stair creak, as the intruder, not so stealthy, climbed them. Hayden quietly moved across the hall, to right above the stairs, his gun ready by his shoulder. As the intruder reached the top of the stairs, Hayden swung around the corner and aimed his gun.

            The intruder, although surprised, managed to get a shot off, barely missing Hayden's right shoulder before he shot the man point-blank in the forehead. The man fell to the ground, a dead weight and crashed down the stairs.

            Hayden watched as a black ooze drained from the man's body, recognizing it as the black oil.

            He checked the rest of the apartment and then made the appropriate calls, with seemingly calmness. But inside he was far from it. His apartment had never been broken into, very few people even knew where it was. He rushed back upstairs to Kent, picking him up and rocking him soothingly, more for himself than the baby.

            His son was barely two months old, Hayden had barely started to know what to do with a baby let alone raise one all on his own. He knew the risk he put Kent in but the danger had never come this close. Hayden was surprised by how scared he had been. Fear had never been that much of an issue for him, it was running rampant in him now.

            He packed up a baby bag and headed out the door to the only safe place he could think of.

******************************************************

            Alex unwrapped his arms from around Sandra to go answer the front door, to answer the constant banging. Grabbing a pair of jeans and his gun on the way, he answered the door, finding an out-of-breath Hayden and a baby.

            "Go get Sandra, we have a problem."

            Alex took Hayden to the kitchen and handed him a shot of whiskey, in which the young man looked like he desperately needed.  It was only then that Alex saw how young Hayden really was, he was a kid, but then again so was Sandra. Feeling old, Alex went to get Sandra.

            Sandra said nothing when she came into the kitchen and saw the baby sitting in his car seat. Focusing her attention on Hayden, his face was distressed and tired, something she'd never seen on him.

            "What's going on," she finally asked.

            Hayden's face changed back to it's usual professionalism, "We need to hide you."

            Sandra sat heavily in a chair, "If I had a dime…" she muttered.

            Hayden leaned forward on the table, looking Sandra straight in the eye, "And I need you to take him with you," he motioned to the baby.

            Sandra saw Alex start to say something but she held her hand up, "Okay." She stood, placing a hand on Alex's chest and conveying with her eyes an understanding. "Let me grab some stuff."

            As she packed a bag she was overcome by the memory of having to pick up and leave everything, again. She ignored it, not willing to let emotions override her mind, that was not what she needed right then. Whoever they were running from was going to pay when the time came but until then, Sandra had a baby under her care. Whoever's it was.

            "They're called Puritans, they work for the aliens but they are the ones to actually make contact with us. They were the ones who worked with The Consortium and they were the ones who brought the black oil to earth, which they call Purity, hence the name." Hayden told them as they drove away from the city in his Dodge Stealth.

            "Where do they come from?" Sandra asked.

            Alex was the one to answer, "All over the universe, they are the victims of colonization, except unlike the rest of their world who became slaves or are killed, they sold their souls to save their necks."

            "Why don't the colonizing aliens just make contact, wouldn't that be easier than going through a middle man, so to speak?"

            Hayden took that one, "The aliens aren't comfortable with making direct contact with such a 'low' species. So they gave the Puritans the ability to take human form and speak the languages, which makes it easier on us. Apparently it's supposed to aid in trust." Sandra didn't have to look to see Hayden roll his eyes.

            They drove in silence the rest of the way to a small airstrip, where a plane was waiting to take Sandra and the baby away to wherever she chose, she couldn't even tell Alex or Hayden where she was going.

            "What am I supposed to do with a baby?" Sandra joked, not wanting to face the fact that she might not see Alex again for a long time.

            He brushed a strand of hair to behind her ear, "You'll figure it out." He didn't make an attempt to keep his voice light. "Sandra, these people…they want you dead, you're the one thing stopping the aliens from complete colonization of earth. If they find you…"Alex looked at the ground, not wanting to think what could happen.

            Sandra lifted his face up to hers, "Then I'll kick their asses." Sandra kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Don't think you can get rid of me that easy."

            Alex smiled, "You can probably take better care of yourself than anyone else."

            Sandra wrapped her arms around his neck, "Hey, I'm a new-age women."

            Alex lightly fingered her jaw line as if committing it to memory before he gently touched his lips to hers. "I love you," he whispered before letting his need for her take over and envelop her in a passionate kiss.

            Sandra pulled away a few moments later, her head more than a little light. "I love you too," she said before turning to Hayden to take the baby.

            As Alex watched her walk away he couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever see her again. 


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

August 5, 1999

11:12 PM

            Every sound had her on edge, the simple rush of wind through the trees outside had her gripping the gun tighter. Her eyes were glued to the outside windows and front door, while she sat next to a small crib, holding Hayden's baby. 

            The cabin was cast in complete darkness, only aided by the surrounding forest. Sandra's nerves doubled as a soft drumming of rain ran against the windows and roof. It wasn't long before the soft rain turned into a thunder storm, shooting bits of hail onto the ground below.

            Still, next to her the baby slept uninterrupted, his tiny face completely at peace. Sandra's heart softened and her mind relaxed a bit at the sight of him. She wondered if she would ever be able to have a baby, to have a life grow inside her. She dared not to hope and instead walked to the kitchen, drinking a glass of water to calm her mind.

            She hadn't eaten in awhile, only concentrating on feeding the baby and keeping watch outside. But the wariness from lack of sleep and food was starting to wear on her and she had to fight vehemently to keep her eyes open. 

            Sandra had hit the button on the coffee machine, heating up another cup of coffee, when she heard a noise at the back door, next to the kitchen. She took the gun out of the waistband of her jeans, holding it ready at her shoulder and rounded the corner, coming face to face with a dark clad figure and a gun.

********************************

            "How much of a chance so we have in finding them?" Alex asked, wrapping his gun holster around his ankle.

            Hayden slipped another gun into his shoulder holster, "It won't be a problem finding them, they'll be looking for us, to get to Sandra."

            Alex stopped packing his arsenal and stood to face Hayden, "If they find her, they'll kill her," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "And if she dies, we've got no hope stopping Colonization."

            Hayden stared long and hard at him, "This will be the first direct rebellion against The Puritan's. From here on in we are fighting them directly and full-on. No more back-hand deals, no appeasement. This could be our end or our victory. But none the less, I doubt we'll live to see the results," Hayden ended with a smile.

            Alex threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and slapped Hayden on the back, "Well, if we've got nothing else, at least we have our optimism."

*********************************

            Sandra's heart was beating so loudly, she could barely hear the man tell her to drop the gun.

            "Drop yours first, "She responded, regaining as much composure as possible.

            "I don't want to hurt you but I will." Sandra could hear an Irish accent in his voice.

            "Who are you?" She yelled, despite her attempts to keep her voice calm. 

            The intruder took a step closer to her but Sandra held her ground. "You don't recognize my voice?"

            Sandra stared hard at his face, which was covered by a black ski mask. The voice and the eyes seemed so familiar but she couldn't quite place them.

            He took another step towards her, his face barely inches away from hers. He lifted the bottom of his ski mask, revealing a grin, "You'll remember this," he said before his lips crashed down on hers.

            Even though the kiss only lasted seconds, there was no doubt in her mind, "Carter?"


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

August 6, 1999

1:04 AM

            The explosion took out the ten story building in ten seconds, "One floor per second," Hayden joked before he set the charge. "This ought to send a message."

            "Yeah, come and kick our asses," Alex muttered under his breath as they drove away. "Do you think we should warn The Resistance building?"

            Hayden cocked his hand gun, "I don't think we'll make it that far."

            Just then bullets started flying at Krycek's Miata, he pulled a one-eighty to face the on-comers and grabbed his gun, "Damn it, this is the third car this year that's gotten shot up." They both ran from the car and hid behind it.

            "How do you want to do this? Run and shoot or get creative?" 

            Krycek scanned the surroundings, they were in a residential apartment area, "Can you make it to that alley?"

            "Alright, creative it is." Hayden ducked and ran, firing his gun at the car that had stopped and men were piling out of.

            Krycek took off in the opposite direction, heading for a truck, taking cover from it. The men separated two heading after Hayden, 3 after him. "Nice odds," he said to himself. 

Taking a chance, Hayden stepped out from behind the wall, hands raised, "Hey guys, is there something I can help you with?"

One of the broader men answered, "Where is she?"

Hayden took a step forward, dropping his hands, "Who? Your mom? I left her back in the hotel room." As the man charged forward, Hayden ducked and the man flew over top of him, landing on the ground seconds before Hayden's bullet entered his leg and stomach. "Now you sit and stay and I'll give you a nice juicy bone when this is all over."

The man's partner kicked towards Hayden but he ducked in time, "You want to play too, kitty?" Hayden's elbow jabbed into the man's chin, followed by his knee into the guy's stomach, two shot's took out both of the guy's knees. Grabbing the rope from around his shoulder, he tied both men to a pipe. 

The men continued to yell at him, struggling best they could. Two quick smacks with the butt of the gun and they were both out. "And silence ensues," Hayden said as he ran to catch up with Krycek.

Meanwhile Krycek's fight had turned into a shoot out and he was quickly running out of bullets. He was now on the trucks side and opened the door, looking for inspiration, only to find a hunting knife. Back in his SEAL days, he'd been able to kill a man instantly with a knife but that had been a long time ago. Still, his only other choice was hand to hand combat and he wasn't as confident as some in his Resistance training. 

Taking aim at the biggest man, he prayed to a God he didn't believe in and threw as hard as he could. In an almost auto pilot move, he grabbed his gun taking out the man next to the man who had taken victim to Krycek's lethal knife in the throat. As his two partners' fell to the ground, the last man charged around the truck, his gun thrown to the side, daring Krycek to fight him.

As Krycek's mind raced to remember every fighting technique he could remember, he heard the thankful sound of a gun shot and the man falling down in front of him.

Hayden rounded the corner, not acknowledging the fact that he may have just saved Krycek's life. "I think we've definitely sent a message."

Krycek scanned the area, expecting to see more gunman, but he was pleasantly surprised. "Now what are they going to with it?"

************************************

            It took her a minute but her senses finally came back to her. "What are you doing here," her voice was anything but glad.

            Carter had already taken off his mask and now he lowered his gun, putting it on the floor, "Like I said I'm not here to hurt you."

            Sandra let her gun hang by her side but she didn't drop it, "I can't think of a possible reason for you to be here, for you to know where I am." Sandra stared into the eyes of a man of a boy she used to love.

            "You're lucky that I'm the only one who knows where you are, if the people I work for found out where you-"

            Sandra didn't let him finish, shock held her for only a second before her foot shot out, crashing into his chin, knocking him back. He quickly regained his balance and kicked her legs from underneath her, sending her gun flying into the corner. Sandra kicked both her feet out, knocking him in the chest and jumped to her feet again. As he made a move for his gun, Sandra did the same, both coming up at the same time, guns trained on each other.

            "You work for The Puritan's?" She hid the hurt in her voice well, disguising it as disgust.

            "If you could only see what happens when the aliens invade…Sandra there is no point in fighting them, it's a waste. They have all the power." He took a slighted step forwards, "Come with me, if you join us, they won't hurt you. I can keep you safe."

            Sandra scoffed at him, "Is that what they told you, is that how they got you to sell your soul?" She yelled the last part. "How long?"

            Carter's eyes left hers, "The day before I left."

            Sandra remembered that day only too well, but she wouldn't let emotions rise that had been put to sleep many years before.

            He continued but his gun remained steadily trained on her, "They told me all about who you are…what you are. They told me what was going to happen, they showed me all the other planets that the aliens and Puritan's have colonized. If you saw what's happened to those other planets, you'd understand why I made this decision."

            Whatever feelings she'd had towards him, now made her sick, he made her sick. She'd been lonely, he'd been there, they'd been together a year, in love. Then one day he was gone, just another addition to the long list of people who had left her. 

            Carter lowered his gun and reached his hand out to her, "Sandra…I still love you."

            Sandra didn't bother to hide her rolling eyes, "Get away from me."

            Carter inwardly sighed, "If you don't come with me, The Puritan's will come and kill you."

            "You'll send them."

            "I have to."

            Sandra laughed, "You are a sniveling rat." Her bullet hit him in the shoulder, then another in his leg. Slowly walking towards him, she took his gun. Quickly she grabbed the baby and headed outside into the storm.

            As she made for her car she heard the Irish voice ring out, "It's your funeral."


	26. Chapter 25

Twenty-Five

8:04 AM

            Finishing off his second cup of coffee, Hayden pulled out his cell, "Joseph Neller, please."

            Krycek sipped on his coffee, quietly listening in to Hayden's conversation with the director of The Resistance. They'd spent the last 

            "Hayden, I just got in. I trust everything went as planned?" It was a rhetorical question, Neller didn't expect anything but success.  

            "Yes sir. The building was taken out easily. I'm just calling to confirm advancement to the second attack."

            Neller didn't answer for a moment, checking over status reports from the night before. Most of the members of the Resistance had already been at work for hours, hardly anyone kept to nine to five now. "Yes, it looks like everything is in order. I-" He stopped, the red alarm light on his desk was flashing. "Intruders…" he said into the phone before hanging up.

            Hayden stared at the disconnected phone before his eyes widened. "We have to get to The Resistance right now."

            They arrived to a scene of absolute disaster. A mass of people stood on the edges of police barricades, staring at the immense pile of smoking rubble that had once been a building. Known only as a pharmaceutical manufacturing company, no one knew of the organization it hid. An organization that was to stop the end of the world.

            "Jesus," Hayden swore, the haunted words of the director still ringing in his ear.

            "We have to get out of here, " Krycek said as calmly as possible, drawing attention to themselves would be the worst thing possible.

            But Hayden wouldn't move, he was in a trance-like state, unable to take his eyes off of what had once been The Resistance building. His life was in that building, the entirety of his adult life's work was wrapped up in that building.

            Then he remembered…

            Claire.

            He ran towards the building, a desperate rage spreading inside of him. Claire was inside that building.

            "Hayden, " Krycek had to use all his strength to hold Hayden back from jumping over the police barricades. He kept screaming a women's name and it was now impossible to keep a low profile.

            Making sure no one was looking, Krycek grabbed a hold of Hayden's arm, twisting it painfully. "Hayden don't forget what is going on here. Get in the car and I will figure out what's going on here." His voice had a hard edge, despite the sympathy he felt for him.

            Hayden reluctantly got into the car, his expression hazed over. Krycek went over to speak to a women standing by a police car. "So what happened here," he asked conversationally.

            The women turned to him, by the badge on her jacket his saw she was with the police. "Some kind of explosion." She didn't elaborate.

            "Any survivors?"

            The women's face looked haunted, "We don't think so."

            Krycek nodded and returned to the car to find Hayden staring out the window, "Who was she?"

            Hayden took awhile to answer, his voice was raspy when he did, "My wife."

­­­

            Hours later, Krycek leaned his head back against the door of Sandra's apartment. He'd managed to get Hayden to contact some the Resistance affiliates, including some of the top members of the FBI, to investigate the explosion. He'd had people move in quick, before the public and media started to dig. Although equipment malfunction wasn't an excuse that would hold, they had no choice but to use it for now.

            "I heard what happened."

            Alex walked over to where Sandra was sitting in the dark, "What are you doing here?"

            Sandra stood up, walking over to him, "How bad is it?"

            He sat down heavily, running a hand over his face, "Bad. Every person in that building is dead."

            Sandra knelt down in front of him, "How is that possible?"

            Alex shook his head, "I don't know. Hayden and I blew up a building, one of The Puritan's bases last night." Alex stood up and walked to the window, "With the kind of technology they have, they're capable of anything."

            Sandra walked over to stand behind him, "I met someone from The Puritan's."

            Alex turned, "What? How?"

            "I think he followed me, or…I don't know. He said he was the only one who knew where I was. He said he was there to save me from the rest of his group." She wasn't ready to admit the man was actually her ex-lover.

            Alex stared hard into her eyes, "The Resistance is gone Sandra."

            Sandra placed her hand to his face, "Alex we're not giving up. It can be rebuilt, the idea is-"

            He walked away from her, laughing cruelly, "You couldn't have possibly thought we'd beat them, did you?" His voice cold and cynical. He'd made a decision and he couldn't have Sandra around. He would do anything to keep her safe, including losing her.

            "So that's it? You're just giving up?"

            He laughed, "It's not like we have much of a choice." He paused for a moment, "If we go to the Puritan's, I'm sure we can reach some kind of an arrangement. I mean they obviously weren't trying to kill you, that guy wanted something from you."

            She couldn't believe her ears, "Alex what the hell is wrong with you?" Her voice was filled with more hurt than anger.

            Hearing her voice and seeing the burning tears in her eyes, ripped at his heart. "I'm just looking out for number one, baby."

            "I don't believe you."

Krycek grinned, "You were just an easy lay, babe." The lie burned his throat. "Obviously, you're a good ally to have around but I think the time has come to move on.

Sandra wanted to hit him, he'd done it again, she'd trusted him and he'd betrayed her. Bitterness swarmed into her, "You son of a bitch."

The look in her eyes slashed his insides, he wanted so badly to tell her he didn't mean it, that he'd do anything to keep from her being hurt. Because he wanted to comfort her so badly, to kiss her sweetly and hold her forever, he roughly slammed his lips to hers, sealing his betrayal. Without looking at her, he turned and walked out of her life forever.

The End


End file.
